


Examining the Past to Find the Future

by fantastic4duo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: And lemons because who doesn't wanna see Ahsoka and Kaeden have sexy times, Cause there will be fluff, F/F, Fluff, I meant it, Stay away if you don't like fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-24 13:18:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10742472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantastic4duo/pseuds/fantastic4duo
Summary: After the events on Malachor, Ahsoka needs to understand the past to find the future.*This is going to be primarily a story about Ahsoka and Kaeden.*





	1. Chapter 1

The air was stuffy. The burning smell could be felt kilometers away. Ahsoka grunted as she came to. The sprinkles of light coming from the cracks on the ground above her provided enough illumination to see her surroundings.

Her survival instinct kicked up before she allowed herself to reflect on what had transpired. Ahsoka got up and stumbled onto her feet. She looked around and realized she had been thrown far from the pyramid on the explosion at the Sith temple of Malachor. Anakin—no, not Anakin, she corrected herself. That was not Anakin. Vader. Vader was gone. His ship nowhere to be found. She hoped Ezra and Kenan had made it out okay. She assessed the damage as she looked for her lightsabers.

" _Under the debris, no doubt,_ " she thought bitterly.

After digging for some time, Ahsoka finally found both sabers, no worse for wear.

Ready to move on from the site, she decided to explore the area for a way out. The inquisitor's ship would surely be on the ground above her, so she had to find a way up. She could feel the roughness of the soil under her boots as she walked, carefully examining the burned bodies that adorned the floors. She remembered lessons about the ancient crossguard lightsabers. She wished there was someone she could ask about the battle that went on in Malachor and wondered if that part of history would be forgotten. If there's nobody left to tell a story, then it could not serve as a reminder of the past to guide us through to the future. She had an overwhelming desire to see Masters Obi-Wan, Yoda and Plo again.

Ahsoka had been betrayed before. The scars Barriss had left inside her couldn't be healed, but knowing what had become of Anakin teared her soul apart. He was the only person who always believed in her, always stood by her, always did everything to save her. And he was the person she trusted the most. This sort of betrayal was even worse than Barriss'. It was a wound so deep she didn't think she could ever heal from it. But she knew him. She knew his essence. She knew there was still good in him. Maybe if she learned more about the Dark side she would understand more about him, about what he had become. Maybe instead of getting out of Malachor, she needed to go deeper. She had to help Anakin.

"The only thing we can't come back from is death," Ahsoka said determined. She went back to where she saw a cave leading down and confidently walked down the steps.

It was dark, but that didn't slow her down. She kept going. Suddenly she felt something rush above her head. She gasped. A little more cautious now, she took measured steps and held both her lightsabers, ready to defend herself.

She finally saw light peaking from the bottom of the stairs as she approached the last steps. Once at the mouth of the cave, she found herself standing over a stream that followed a path between some trees. Sitting on a tree stump looking back at her was the same convor she had seen earlier.

"So it was you who flew by me," Ahsoka said. She headed towards the bird, who stood in its spot as Ahsoka made her way. Before it was within her reach, the convor spread its wings and flew off. It came back almost immediately and circled around Ahsoka a few times and headed downstream.

"Are you trying to tell me something, little guy?" Ahsoka asked and followed it. As she distanced herself from the mouth of the cave, the path became more narrow and the water became less shallow. The expanse of the stream was growing wider and wider, even the trees were sprouting from the water now.

She heard screaming in the distance. Her senses were on high alert as she continued on. Images of battlefields started to appear in the air around her. She couldn't make out who was who at first. Then she saw clones firing against droids. Troops of both sides running, screaming, shooting. Then some Jedi came to battle, helping protect their men.

Ahsoka frantically looked around, identifying some of the Jedi as she went along.

"Little Soka," she heard a familiar voice call her. She turned around, but there was nobody there. Once she turned back to where she was headed, she saw a ship flying above her. She could see Master Plo inside, leading his clone army. Suddenly, his army started firing at him and his ship exploded.

"NO!" She screamed, reaching up to try and get to him. But before she could do anything else, she saw Master Ki-Adi-Mundi engaged in a fight with a droid army then he turned around and called "Come on!" to his troops. The troops followed him until they all stopped and aimed their guns at him. They all shot at once. A little to the left was Master Aayala Secura. She was leading her army through a forest. Her troops did the same as the previous ones, shot her from the back, showing no mercy.

Ahsoka fought back the tears that threatened to come as she made her way further into the river, slowly watching as each of the Masters died. Then she found herself surrounded by younglings. She remembered some of them. She even took a few to Ilum to find their kyber crystals. They looked lost and scared until Anakin came into view.

"Master Skywalker," a boy asked, "there are too many of them. What are we going to do?" Anakin turned on his lightsaber and the boy jerked backwards. He slayed them, one by one.

Ahsoka gasped in horror as she looked at the image of the bodies of countless younglings falling around her. She started to panic. "Why?" She asked herself over and over until she noticed the water was getting warmer. She looked down questioningly but went on. And she walked, she felt the water grow hotter and hotter, the consistency changing from liquid to fiery. She let out a scream as every inch of her body started to feel like it was on fire. Completely paralyzed by the pain and unable to go back, Ahsoka looked around and saw she was swimming in a sea of lava.

"Ahsoka," she heard Anakin call her and her head snapped back up. "Ahsoka," she heard it again.

"Anakin?" She cried desperately, her pain forgotten.

Finally, she saw him. The Anakin she used to know. He was standing on the edge of the lava river, saber in hand. But something wasn't right. His face was etched with anger. He was looking in her direction, but not at her, she noticed. She turned around and, behind her, were Master Obi-Wan and Padme.

"Master Obi-Wan!" She called. He didn't seem to hear her either. He and Padme were looking at Anakin. Padme was crying.

"Anakin, you're breaking my heart," Padme said.

Anakin looked at her in a way Ahsoka had never seen before. She knew his relationship with Padme was more than just friendship and the expression he carried terrified her. As if in slow motion, she saw him raise his free hand and Force-choke her. Padme gasped and called him until she fell to the ground unconscious.

"She was pregnant," Ahsoka whispered to herself. "Anakin... What have you done?"

"You turned her against me!" Anakin yelled at Obi-Wan.

"You have done that yourself," the older master replied as he removed his cloak.

Anaking jumped over Ahsoka and landed where Obi-Wan was and they engaged in a lightsaber duel. They jumped over to a floating stone that went down river as they continued to fight. Ahsoka couldn't understand what was happening. She refused to understand it. Anakin had been one of the kindest Jedi she had ever met. How could have he fallen so deeply to the Dark side? The fight was stretching on and Ahsoka grew worried for Obi-Wan. After all her visions, she was sure where this was headed. The two went from stone to stone as each one sunk into the sea of lava, until Obi-Wan made it to the other side. Anakin looked at him, calculated his move and jumped to land his final blow. But before he could, Obi-Wan cut off his legs midair.

The tears were falling freely down Ahsoka's face. She didn't even try to wipe them anymore.

"You were the Chosen One!" Master Obi-Wan said. "It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them. Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness."

Anakin was determined to get his former master, clearly driven by hate. His eyes yellow like a Sith's, face full of anger.

"I hate you!"

"You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you." Anakin's body caught on fire and burned as he screamed. Obi-Wan took his saber and walked away.

The images slowly dissipated and Ahsoka found herself back in the river, the water now back to its normal temperature. Ahsoka cried for everything that had been lost. She had been ridden by so much guilt and seeing what had transpired only made it worse.

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose," she heard a familiar voice. "Fear is the path to the Dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

"Master Yoda?" She asked a projection of the former Master.

"Yes. Hear you I do. See you I do," he said then giggled.

"How can this be? Nobody else could see or hear me," She said.

"Like the others I am not," he said.

"Master Yoda, I'm so lost. How could Anakin turn into that?"

"Consumed by the Dark side Skywalker has become," Yoda lamented. "Betrayed the Jedi were. But death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Remember this you must. Not your fault Skywalker's fall is."

"I can't help but think if I had stayed behind, maybe—" Ahsoka said but was cut off.

"The past you can't change. Look forward. Yes. Into the future. Hope there is. Mhm."

"Hope? Master Yoda, the Jedi are all but extinct, Anakin fell to the Dark side and is hunting down any Force sensitive children for whatever twisted purpose he and Palpatine have. The galaxy is dominated by a tyrant. Where could I find hope?"

"Always a light at the end of the tunnel there is," he said pointing to a staircase leading up into a cave. "Of these feelings you must let go, Ahsoka. Ready to move on you must be. Meditate and follow the light."

She looked at the cave again and then back to Master Yoda, but he was gone. She walked over to the stairs and sat on one of the steps. She tucked her ankles beneath her thighs and closed her eyes. After a deep breath, she began to meditate.

Slowly her surroundings started to appear in her mind. She saw the river, the trees, the convor sitting on a branch. She saw the stairs, the caves around her and beyond. She saw the temple debris above, the battlefield, the burned bodies. She saw the surface of the planet and she could almost feel the sun. Peace. She needed to find some peace to find balance. She focused on the feeling of the warmth the sun provided. But images of everyone she ever cared about being killed kept coming back to her, breaking her concentration. The sight of Master Plo smashing against his windshield caused Ahsoka to let out a whimper.

" _Again,_ " she thought and took another deep breath.

Her mind saw her surroundings once more, but the image of the younglings being killed by Anakin wouldn't leave her mind.

Anakin.

Anakin…

Vader…

Everything went black. All she could hear now was his artificial breathing. It started to consume her, like it did all those years ago back on Mortis. She felt the darkness sledging through her veins, tinging her skin in its wake. She screamed in pain and panted, trying to reorient herself.

"Find your peace," Ahsoka heard the distant voice of Master Yoda.

" _Again_ ," she thought once she got her breathing back under control.

Deep breath, eyes closed.

" _My peace,_ " Ahsoka thought. " _Okay, you can do this. Focus. Forget this planet. Think of a prairie. A vast prairie adorned with tiny pink and yellow flowers. A small stream crossing the green field. A tree line in the distance. A dirt road leading to a small cottage. The cottage floating above a small lake, raised by a single pillar erected from the water. The cottage a bubble-like shape, almost entirely made of glass. A small bridge connecting the road to the entrance of the house. The door sliding open. A figure standing in the sitting area with their back to the door. The noise of the opening door startles the mysterious figure and they turn around."_

_"Ahsoka…" The figure said._

Ahsoka's eyes snapped open and she whispered "Kaeden… I need to go to Kaeden."


	2. Chapter 2

_Ahsoka stood in front of the house, weighing her options._

_"There's no one in it," said someone behind her. Ahsoka's hands tightened on lightsaber hilts that were no longer there as she turned._

_It was a girl about Ahsoka's age, but with more lines around her eyes. "I'm Kaeden," said the girl. "Kaeden Larte. Are you here for the harvest? That's why most people come here, but we're almost done. I'd be out there myself, except I lost an argument with one of the threshers yesterday."_

Ahsoka chuckled at the memory. Kaeden had been at such ease sitting on her bed and telling her all about the thresher's antics. She was such a breath of fresh air. Everything Ahsoka didn't know she needed back then. Kaeden's childlike enthusiasm brought back the joy she had long lost. Attachment is forbidden for a Jedi and Ahsoka could see why. Kaeden clouded her judgment. But she couldn't find it in herself to care. Kaeden was her compass, guiding her way home. She had to get home. But she couldn't. Not yet. She had found her peace, like Master Yoda had instructed, but she needed to look back in order to move forward.

She remembered Barriss' speech about the Jedi Order. That resonated with her. Barriss was wrong in doing what she did, but she wasn't wrong in what she said. Had Barriss gone to the Dark side or had she just made a poor judgement call when defying the Order? How can someone as good and kind as Anakin fall to the Dark side? Ahsoka needed answers. She needed information. Ahsoka looked up behind wondering where the steps would lead her.

"Only one way to find out," Ahsoka said confidently making her way up the stairs. She could hear the faint noise of water falling in the distance. She continued her climb and then walked down the cave once there were no more steps left.

Finally, she saw some light around a corner and she ran. What she saw was a waterfall cascading over the cave's entrance.

As she approached it, she could feel the splashes of water against her body. She gingerly made her way out through the side, careful not to slip on the wet rocks. Once she knew it was safe, she looked back and saw this small paradise. Like a preserved forest in the core of the planet. She didn't know how that was possible, but she had seen enough of the galaxy to know better than to question how life always found a way.

Ahsoka made her way down the mountain and reached the green soil. She removed her boots to feel the grass against her toes. She thought about that prairie for a second and smiled.

"How can there be something so beautiful inside a place so wretched?" She asked herself. "I suppose sometimes we find the best things in the most unexpected places."

_"Kaeden!" Ahsoka shouted, and ran to help her move faster._

_"Ahsoka!" Kaeden ran towards her, but stopped short of throwing her good arm around Ahsoka's shoulder. She could almost feel the power pouring out of Ahsoka anyway. It was amazing. "I could kiss you."_

_Ahsoka stopped in her tracks. The look she shot Kaeden was mildly confused._

_"Not now, I mean," Kaeden said. "My timing is terrible and you have all those Jedi hang-ups. I just wanted you to know in case we die."_

_"Oh," said Ahsoka. "Well, thanks." She paused. "And we are not going to die."_

_"If you say so," Kaeden agreed._

Ahsoka had been so confused. That was completely unexpected. She didn't understand Kaeden had feelings for her and she really didn't understand she had feelings for Kaeden. She had had a crush before and she knew what that felt like. But what she felt for Kaeden was different. Infinitely more powerful. But she had no idea what she had been feeling. She didn't understand what her desires and urges had been.

_Will we ever see you again?" Kaeden asked._

_"I think it will be a while," Ahsoka said. "But as you said, the galaxy's a big place."_

_"Thank you," said Kaeden._

_"Anytime," said Ahsoka._

_She didn't know love could hurt so much. And not knowing if she was ever going to see Kaeden again hurt. A lot. She couldn't let her feelings dictate what she was going to do. She committed to helping Bail build a rebellion and she would keep her word. After nearly a standard year of going on missions, Ahsoka had hoped she would forget all about Kaeden. But it only got worse._

_One day, after a complicated mission involving the Black Sun, she sat in Senator Organa's office waiting for him to come in. This barely startled him anymore. He knew she would appear in his office unannounced anytime she completed a mission and he was okay with that. He liked the Togruta and she was capable, reliable, trustworthy and kind. Not to mention a rare and valuable asset. And he knew she didn't trust people easily._

_"I see you and Artoo have been catching up," Bail said as he walked into the room._

_"You know Artoo. You can't get him to stop talking about power generators once he starts," Ahsoka chuckled as the little droid beeped._

_"I hear the mission on Ord Mantell was a success," he said._

_"It was interesting to say the least," she replied. "I was hoping to ask you for some time off. Not much, just a few days. A week at most."_

_"Of course," he said. "You've been working nonstop, you deserve some time for yourself."_

_"I was hoping to visit some friends," she said tentatively. "Where were the refugees from Raada sent?" Bail smiled._

_"Some of them joined the fighters, some became pilots and the young one, Miara, she is in weapons development. Some of the others are useful in different ways. Your friend Kaeden is farming for the Rebellion on Alderaan," he explained, knowing that was the information Ahsoka wanted._

Ahsoka remembered how the flight from Coruscant to Alderaan had felt like the longest of her life. And once she got there, she was told the city where Kaeden lived was hundreds of kilometers away. She had to travel for days until she finally reached the small village.

_"I'll have to leave as soon as I arrive," Ahsoka complained to herself. "I can't believe how much time I lost."_

_She knew it was still too early in the day for the farmers to be home, so she headed to the cantina on the main street._

_"Ahsoka!" The older Togruta exclaimed when he saw her walking through the door and came over to greet her. "It's good to see you."_

_"It's good to see you, too, Selda," she smiled._

_"I see your montrals and lekku grew in the past year."_

_"Yeah, I keep having to get new cloaks every year," she chuckled. She looked around. "I see you stayed in the cantina business."_

_"Sort of," Selda said. "I still run a cantina, but underneath, we have a rations factory that produces food to send to the Rebellion. I oversee the process and also keep our villagers fed."_

_"Speaking of villagers," Ahsoka said. "What time do they usually come back from the fields?" Selda smirked._

_"The one villager you're curious about usually comes here at dusk." Ahsoka smiled shyly. "Why don't you go wait over at her place? The door is unlocked."_

_"She leaves the door unlocked?!" Ahsoka asked._

_"There is no danger here. There is no Empire here. There is nothing to worry about."_

_"Still," Ahsoka grunted. "I'm going to have a chat with her about that."_

_After giving her a nice meal to take home, Selda gave Ahsoka directions to Kaeden's place and made a few promises._

She often wondered what had happened to Selda. He had always been very kind to her. Probably due to the immediate bond of being of the same species. There weren't many Togrutas in the galaxy. Not that she needed to be around the same species as her to feel a sense of belonging. She had learned there were many ways of being a part of something. But there was an undeniable connection between her and her people. She had also felt it with Shaak-Ti and little Ashla. And when she saved some colonists from Kiros. She often wondered if that connection was felt between all species or just Togrutas. She would have to ask someone about that someday. She had also felt as a part of something when she was a Jedi. And she feels a part of something now, in the Rebellion. A true Jedi doesn't form any attachments, but she couldn't see herself living without the people who were most important to her. Even if she didn't get to see them often.

Ahsoka found a tree and picked some fruit. She devoured them, not realizing how hungry she was. She sat on a rock to eat as the convor flew above her, its presence a comfort. Ahsoka smiled as she continued to reminisce.

_Ahsoka let herself into Kaeden's house and frowned at how easy it had been. She didn't care how peaceful they claimed Alderaan was. Raada was peaceful before the Empire arrived. She would have to do something about that. Ahsoka looked around the sitting area, not feeling comfortable to explore the rest of Kaeden's house. She was being intrusive enough as it was. She took the food Selda had given her from the satchel she had carried and put it on the table. Ahsoka went about setting the table and chuckled when she noticed Selda had also packed two candles. She placed them on the table and waited._

_Finally, a little past dusk, the door opened._

_"Miara?!" Ahsoka heard an excited voice and her blood rushed to her head. Kaeden's excited look changed to one of shock and for a brief second Ahsoka wondered if coming over had been a bad idea._

_The smile that grew on Kaeden's face washed her worries away and Ahsoka's heart skipped a beat._

_"Ahsoka?" Kaeden asked, almost trying to convince herself that the Togruta was indeed there._

_"Hi," she said shyly. "I'm sorry to come by unannounced…" She trailed off but Kaeden rushed towards her and enveloped Ahsoka in a tight hug. After only a brief moment of shock, Ahsoka reciprocated._

_"I'm so glad you're here!" Kaeden's muffled voice said._

_"It's good to see you," Ahsoka replied._

_They embraced for a while longer and, when they parted, Ahsoka noticed Kaeden had tears in her eyes._

_"Are you alright?" Ahsoka asked concerned._

_"I'm just so happy," Kaeden replied, smiling as the tears fell. Ahsoka smiled back and cupped Kaeden's face to wipe the tears with her thumbs. Kaeden placed her hands on top of Ahsoka's and they looked into each other's eyes for a moment._

_Ahsoka lowered her hands and Kaeden's went with them, as they held each other's hands, still facing one another._

_"How have you been?" Ahsoka asked and Kaeden laughed._

_"I've been pretty good. I made great new friends and it feels really good to know that the work I do is important. But it has its sacrifices."_

_"Like what?"_

_"I don't get to see the people I love as much anymore. Miara doesn't live on Alderaan. She's off with the Rebellion. But I still see her from time to time. She comes to visit me and I visit her. We see each other almost every standard month. I haven't seen Vartan in a long time. At least I still get Selda. He's such a comfort. And then there's you…" There was no bitterness in her tone, Ahsoka felt._

_"I've been flying around all over the galaxy. This is the first time I requested time off since I last saw you."_

_"So you're not here on a mission?" Kaeden asked._

_"No."_

_"Then why did you come?"_

_"To see you," she said it with such feeling that it almost blew Kaeden away. "I don't have very long. It took me too long to find you. But I'll know better next time."_

_"Next time?" Kaeden smiled hopefully._

_"I mean, if you want me to come, of course," Ahsoka stuttered._

_"Of course I want you to come!"_

_"Good," Ahsoka said._

_"Good," Kaeden parroted._

_"How about we eat then? Selda prepared a delicious meal for us. I don't know about you, but I feel like I could eat an entire banta on my own."_

_"Oh, don't even get me started," Kaeden said. "You have no idea what happened at work today."_

_Kaeden talked excitedly for a long time, telling funny tales of what happened at work and around the small town. Ahsoka was content to just listen. She really loved Kaeden's excitement. Joining the Rebellion had been a great idea. But coming to see Kaeden had been even better._

Ahsoka fell asleep with a happy heart. At least for now.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Pst! Ahsoka?" Kaeden whispered. "Are you awake?"_

_"Whaswrong," Ahsoka mumbled._

_"It's a beautiful day! Come on, let's go outside."_

_Ahsoka looked around, trying to remember the events of the previous night. She had surprised Kaeden with a visit after nearly a year apart and the two had spent the entire night talking. Well, Kaeden did most of the talking, not that Ahsoka minded. And after Kaeden finally exhausted herself, Ahsoka went about safe-proofing her house. Just before dawn, Ahsoka laid on the sofa and slept._

_"Get up! We shouldn't be wasting precious time. You're leaving tomorrow morning and I want us to enjoy every second of our day. Come on, come on, come on, come oooon!"_

_"I'm up," Ahsoka said as she made her way to the fresher._

_A few minutes later, Ahsoka emerged from the fresher looking like herself and ready for the day._

_"Okay, what's on the agenda?" The Togruta asked._

_"We are going for a walk around the prairie. There's a beautiful prairie not far from here. Then I'm taking you to Vendor's Row, that's where all the shops are. I don't really need to buy anything, but I like looking at the windows. Then we are having a picnic at the park and we can relax there in the afternoon. It's beautiful. I think you'll really like it there. And at night I thought we could go see a concert."_

_"What kind of concert?"_

_"There is only one club in town, so our selection is kind of limited," Kaeden said._

_"I've never been to a concert before, so I have nothing to compare it to," Ahsoka explained._

_"Oh…" Kaeden said and stared at Ahsoka blankly. Then she smiled and went on "So you'll like it," Kaeden decided. "Okay. After the concert we have dinner at Selda's of course. And then we come home. The end. What do you think?"_

_"It sounds amazing," Ahsoka said to Kaeden's delight._

_They walked around the prairie and saw a curious cottage, far from the village, standing over the lake. Then strolled around Vendor's Row, where Ahsoka bought Kaeden a flower. They had a pleasant picnic at the park and Ahsoka even indulged in a short nap under the tree with Kaeden. They had a delicious dinner at Selda's and, finally, attended the concert. Ahsoka wasn't sure about what she should do, so she just focused on the music. She enjoyed that very much, but wasn't able to dance, like Kaeden and the others around her._

_They had a long, exhausting, thrilling day. Different than anything Ahsoka had ever experienced. For Ahsoka, fun used to be tearing clankers apart, running around with Rex, Anakin and Obi-Wan, executing a plan flawlessly. She would be lying if she said that still didn't excite her, but this was great as well. She didn't remember ever being exposed to this type of fun. Sure, she and the other younglings had played tricks on other kids at the temple in the past. Even Master Jocasta Nu fell victim to their terrors one time or another. But nothing too extravagant. Ahsoka was a good girl for the most part. But a day of nothing but unadulterated fun with Kaeden was absolutely heaven._

_The two arrived home completely worn out._

_"You know," Kaeden started after she caught Ahsoka trying to stifle a yawn. "You had very little sleep last night. I saw you working away on my door in the middle of the night. Why don't you sleep on my bed so you can get some proper rest?" Kaeden asked._

_Ahsoka looked at her with a hint of panic. "Quit being such a baby. I'm not some sexual predator, you know?" Kaeden gave her a lopsided smile and Ahsoka chuckled relieved._

_Kaeden pulled Ahsoka with her towards the bedroom. She gave Ahsoka some comfortable clothes and then went into the fresher to change._

_Kaeden laid on the far side of the bed, almost scared of crossing a line, not wanting to freak Ahsoka out. She stared at the Togruta, who seemed self-conscious about wearing someone else's pajamas. Ahsoka shyly lowered herself onto the bed and sneaked under the covers. They both stared at each other and smiled timidly then laid on their backs, both looking at the ceiling._

_Some time had passed when Kaeden suddenly felt Ahsoka's hand hold hers and interlace their fingers. She smiled and brought their joined hands to her chest, caressing Ahsoka's with her thumb. Without any warning, Ahsoka lifted the covers and scooted closer to Kaeden and laid on her side, facing her. Kaeden turned to face Ahsoka, letting her hand go and wrapping her arms around the warrior's waist._

_Feeling bold, Ahsoka gently touched her lips to Kaeden's. They lingered for a moment, eyes closed, both experiencing this heavenly sensation of lip against lip._

_Ahsoka pulled back and looked at Kaeden's eyes with a warm smile. Kaeden smiled back almost questioningly. Ahsoka just shrugged._

_"Good night, Kaeden," Ahsoka said._

_"Good night, Ahsoka," Kaeden replied._

Ahsoka smiled at the memory. That first nervous, chaste kiss opened the door to everything she needed. She had never known life with that type of love in it, but now she couldn't picture life without it. It brought the best and worst in her. She wondered if Anakin's love for Padme had brought the worst in him.

Ahsoka finally reached the edge of the small patch of forest. It ended suddenly. She was standing at the very edge, between grassy soils and scorched ground. She still didn't understand the nature of this place.

She put that aside, making a point to remember the location of the forest – her only source of food – and went about exploring.

She went into a new cave and walked the path, hoping to get more insight.

After hours of walking and going through tunnels, Ahsoka started getting frustrated.

"Why is nothing happening?" She kicked a rock irritated, then let out a sigh. She knew it was pointless to be frustrated. Ahsoka took in a deep breath and focused.

"Come on, Anakin. Help me help you."

She concentrated for a long while, never losing her patience, determined to help her friend.

Finally she saw a young looking Anakin. Not too much younger than when she first met him, but he was sporting the traditional Padawan braid. He was smiling. Ahsoka smiled as well.

But soon the smiles faded. She saw flashes of him being tormented and plagued in his sleep and trying his hardest to calm his mind with meditation when he was awake.

She felt for him. He tried so hard to fight it.

"Why were you so troubled, Anakin?" Ahsoka asked.

She knew to an extent how much Anakin's past upset him. She knew he and his mother were sold as slaves. But she didn't know much more than that.

She continued to try and interpret the visions that appeared before her.

She saw a very young boy and a woman on a desert planet and wondered if that was Anakin and his mother. Ahsoka had never met Master Qui-Gon, but she knew of him. She saw him talking to young Anakin and she was most amused when she saw Master Obi-Wan as a Padawan. Anakin was saying goodbye to his mother. It was heartbreaking. He was far too old to be taken.

She realized his mother was left behind, still a slave.

She saw him again slightly older now, still having nightmares and worrying about his mother. Ahsoka wondered if his mother had been freed.

Her answer came soon enough. Visions of Anakin going to her and slaughtering Tusken Raiders.

"That's not the Jedi way," Ahsoka protested. It was clear Anakin's attachment issue was severe and was a serious problem.

She saw the Council deciding to assign Ahsoka to him instead of Obi-Wan to teach Anakin to let go when the time came. Flashes of their missions together and his inability to let her go made things more and more clear.

Ahsoka saw Anakin extremely troubled after she left the Order. A pang of guilt hit her with full force on the chest.

And, the final blow, images of Padme dying during childbirth. Those were driving Anakin mad. She saw once again the succession of events that led him to become Darth Vader.

Ahsoka opened her eyes and shed a tear.

That fear of losing someone you loved, that Ahsoka could completely understand. And with visions like the ones Anakin had been having, no wonder he was susceptible to the Dark side.

Losing a loved one is one thing. Knowing you'll lose them and not being able to do anything to save them is another. Ahsoka knew she would do everything in her power to save Kaeden if it had been her. She didn't even remember what life was like without a lover. It had become so organic, natural and essential to her that it was impossible to picture her life in a different way. It had all started so innocently. Ahsoka had been visiting Kaeden as regularly as she could, but they never did more than chastely kiss one another, which they had been doing quite often and had become an integral part of their relationship and a lifeline for Ahsoka.

_"Ahsoka, have you ever made love?" Kaeden asked blatantly, causing Ahsoka to drop the cutlery she was holding. The Togruta was completely taken aback by the question and turned a deeper shade of orange as she blushed._

_"Kaeden!" She reproached shyly._

_"What? Are you embarrassed?" The girl asked._

_"Jedi are forbidden to engage in anything of that nature," Ahsoka explained while stumbling on her words._

_"I thought you weren't a Jedi."_

_"I'm not."_

_"So you are free to engage in everything of that nature?"_

_"Kaeden!" Ahsoka grunted in frustration._

_"Why won't you answer? Is it because you haven't? It's okay if you haven't. It's not uncommon, you know? In fact, it's normal. You're still young. And you were living the Jedi lifestyle. But haven't you ever been curious? Do you even know how it works?" She spilled rapidly._

_"We don't… We… We don't discuss those things at the Temple."_

_"Then how do you deal with the feeling?"_

_"What feeling?"_

_"You know. That feeling. It's physical. You can't fight it. It makes you burn on the inside." Ahsoka was only half unaware of what Kaeden meant. She had those feelings, sure. She was told they were normal teenage urges. But a Jedi doesn't act upon those urges. Besides, the adrenaline discharge from missions helped a great deal._

_"I meditate."_

_"After you take care of it you mean?"_

_"No, I meditate and the feeling goes away."_

_"That's just stupid," Kaeden protested and Ahsoka was taken aback. But then she chuckled._

_"At the Temple, we learn…. learned," she corrected herself sadly, "about intercourse. We know couples have it when they express their love for one another. And it is also an act of procreation. And sometimes it is done against one's will. We do know the mechanics. We have Biology lessons, like most schools. I just always assumed because it was connected to things a Jedi should never have or do, I had to meditate it out of my mind."_

_Kaeden looked at Ahsoka for a full twenty seven seconds, trying to process what she thought was an absurd response._

_"Have you ever kissed anyone then? Other than me." The black haired girl asked, clearly proud of herself. When Ahsoka didn't answer, Kaeden gasped. "You have? Who? Another Jedi? Was it forbidden? Did you get caught? Did you get in trouble? Oh, this is intriguing."_

_"No, nothing like that. It was just this boy I met once…" Kaeden's face fell a little._

_"Oh…" She couldn't hide her disappointment at the mention of the word "boy"._

_"I had a crush on him I think," Ahsoka explained. "But I was able to let go once I realized he liked someone else. I was even happy for him. But the girl died."_

_"Did you ever see him again?"_

_"No, not after that. It was all during the war. I don't even know if he's still alive."_

_"Ahsoka, I need to ask you something."_

_"Okay…"_

_"I need you to not have a crush on anyone else. I don't think I enjoy that very much. I mean, I know we aren't really anything. But we're not nothing either, so I was hoping you wouldn't have any other crushes while we're not anything but also aren't nothing."_

_"So we aren't anything?" Ahsoka asked, amused by Kaeden's ramblings._

_"Are we?" Kaeden asked hopefully._

_"You tell me. This is all new for me."_

_"I'd like it if we were something."_

_"I think I'd like that too," Ahsoka replied._

_"Okay!" Kaeden said excitedly. "We are officially something! I think that calls for a celebration!"_

Ahsoka wondered when Anakin and Padme went from nothing to something. She didn't want to force any visions about that. Those were private memories and probably wouldn't be relevant to her inner search. She hoped they had been happy for a while. As happy as a forbidden love during war time could be. Anakin deserved that.


	4. Chapter 4

A long time had gone by and Ahsoka had gotten nowhere. No new visions. Not even old visions. The only thing she kept seeing over and over again was Tatooine. As if Anakin's past held some type of secret for her to unveil. But she was certain she had understood his past.

She tried to avoid getting frustrated, reminding herself it was her choice to be there in the first place. And it wasn't just about Anakin. Ahsoka had to learn to let go of the guilt and the disappointment in order to continue moving forward. She wasn't a Jedi, but she tried to live by what she had learned as much as possible. There had to be some adaptations. Although her relationship with the Force had remained the same, the Jedi ways had failed. She had to figure out what worked for her. For starters, she was no longer living a life without any attachments. It was a constant struggle not to let Kaeden cloud her judgement, but she finally understood that was impossible. So she meditated often to find a balance. It was hard at first.

_"We can get a droid to do that, you know?" Ahsoka said to Kaeden. Ahsoka was sitting on the sofa with one leg propped up and Kaeden sat on the floor, changing the bandages on Ahsoka's leg. She got a nasty cut during a fight with an inquisitor she had killed. Ahsoka told Kaeden there was no need to worry, that the cut had already been taken care of by a medical droid. But Kaeden insisted on changing the bandages and cleaning the wound._

_"Nonsense," Kaeden brushed her off. "I want to make sure it doesn't get infected. Besides, I like taking care of you. You rarely ever need it. This is a nice change," Kaeden then stumbled on her words. "It's not nice that you got hurt. But since you did, I want to take care of you."_

_Ahsoka had never received this kind of tenderness and, although it made her feel good, it always scared her a little._

_Kaeden finished cleaning the cut and wrapped a bandage around it. She kissed a patch of skin just above the bandage and put away the medical kit._

_"Thank you," Ahsoka said._

_"You're welcome. Now sit back while I light a fire. It's getting chilly."_

_Kaeden finished tidying up the sitting area, made a fire at the small fireplace that was located in front of the sofa and got two blankets. She spread one blanket on the floor, between the sofa and the fireplace and propped a few cushions against the sofa._

_"Here," she held out her hand to help Ahsoka get up, even though Ahsoka didn't really need any help. She indulged Kaeden nonetheless. Kaeden led her to the floor and Ahsoka got comfortable. Kaeden did the same and sat next to Ahsoka, linking their arms. She got the other blanket and tucked the two of them in._

_They cuddled for a while in a comfortable silence, just enjoying being in each other's arms._

_"This feels nice," Ahsoka said, turning to look into Kaeden's eyes._

_"It does," Kaeden replied, looking back._

_"Thank you for taking such good care of me," Ahsoka said._

_Ahsoka reached up to brush Kaeden's cheek with the back of her hand. When Kaeden leaned into the touch, Ahsoka turned her hand and cupped the cheek, stroking it with her thumb. Her other hand found its way to rest on Kaeden's hip and Kaeden snaked her own hands around Ahsoka's lower back. Ahsoka looked up to meet Kaeden's gaze and their smiles faded. Their suddenly flushed faces were only inches apart and they both felt the other's breathing a little erratic against their pressed chests as they slowly embraced. As their faces came closer and closer together, they shut their eyes and allowed their lips to meet in a soft, light kiss. They parted and looked at each other, scared and lustful at the same time. Neither had enough courage to resume the kiss, but both dying to get closer and feel their lips pressed together again. Ahsoka took the courageous step and in one swift motion captured Kaeden's lower lip between her own. Kaeden was startled at first, but only for a mere second and immediately gave herself into the kiss. Ahsoka's tongue traced Kaeden's lower lip, which made Kaeden let out a soft moan. Kaeden was only slightly more experienced than Ahsoka and assumed she never even knew how to kiss. In a daring move, she tried to pry Ahsoka's mouth open with her tongue, an act that was met with surprise, but compliance. Tongues danced around one another as shy hands didn't dare to move. But after a few moments lost in the ecstasy, one of Kaeden's hand slowly ascended to the back of Ahsoka's neck. When Kaeden's lips left Ahsoka's, they went on to leave a trail of wet kisses from Ahsoka's jaw to neck to collarbone and chest._

_Before they could go any further, Ahsoka broke the contact touching her forehead to Kaeden's and looking at her lips, panting._

_"Kaeden," Ahsoka said breathless._

_"Yeah?"_

_"I don't want you to think I don't appreciate this, but I need us to slow down."_

_"Okay." Kaeden understood. This was all extremely new for Ahsoka. It wasn't just that Ahsoka had never kissed like this before. This was never meant to be something that was a part of her life. It was all a foreign concept to her. "But Ahsoka," she went on. "Do you think this is something you'd like to do again?"_

_"Oh, definitely," Ahsoka said capturing Kaeden's lips in an explorative kiss._

_They kissed until they exhausted themselves and Kaeden fell asleep. Ahsoka laid awake, watching Kaeden sleep peacefully as her mind wandered. Kaeden had become extremely important to her in such a short time, back when they were on Raada. She wondered if what she felt was love. Her gut said yes, but she didn't have any other references to measure. She wondered if Kaeden felt the same. Whatever the feeling was, Ahsoka couldn't remember being this happy. She felt guilty for being happy. She knew it was irrational to submit herself to a life of misery because of what happened to the Jedi and because of where the galaxy stood. But even in bad situations, people lived on, people laughed, loved, worked, had fun. Why couldn't she have those too? Her mind was still too cemented in the old Jedi ways. She needed to let go of that and allow herself to be happy. To feel freely the intoxicating sensation that threatened to overwhelm her senses._

_Ahsoka stayed up very late, her mind reeling and overanalyzing._

_The following morning, there was a knock on the door and Ahsoka shot up on high alert. Kaeden woke up groggily and saw Ahsoka's confusion, still trying to get her bearings._

_"It's okay," Kaeden whispered, caressing Ahsoka's hand. "It's fine. Just some friends of mine who were expecting me to show up at a game this morning. I'll send them away. You go back to sleep."_

_"Go to your game," Ahsoka mumbled, calming and laying back down to sleep. Within seconds, she was asleep again._

_After sending her friends away, Kaeden looked at Ahsoka, who was sleeping deeply. She chuckled, wondering how someone could go from high alert to almost comatose in a matter of seconds._

_"The life of a warrior," she thought._

_Kaeden wasn't particularly sleepy but she wanted to be with Ahsoka as much as she could. Their time together was always so limited and each time could always be the last time they ever saw each other. Kaeden didn't doubt Ahsoka's abilities to take care of herself, but she had seen firsthand what evil will do to get their hands on someone like Ahsoka. She tried to put that thought aside. This was their time to enjoy each other, not a time to worry. With that, Kaeden went back to the provisory bed on the floor, laid next to Ahsoka and scooted behind her, spooning her._

_Ahsoka must have felt her presence, which was why she didn't startle. She readjusted herself and let Kaeden cuddle up behind her, feeling warm and peaceful._

Ahsoka often wondered if Padme was the key to Anakin's descent to the Dark side. A thought that would often worry her. Would that make her susceptible to the Dark side too? She wondered how much of her relationship with Kaeden could make her take a wrong turn. She tried to fight it for a while, but after she realized she couldn't, she decided to give in. But the shared intimacy took a long time to be built. She knew it was because she didn't know how to show intimacy towards someone and she wondered if that had been the case with Anakin too. Or any other Jedi who had broken these rules.

_"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Kaeden exclaimed rushing into the house. "I know I'm late. The shifter broke. I tried to fix it, but it exploded." Kaeden continued to explain her story as she rushed about the house, picking out some clothes from the closet. Ahsoka watched in silent amusement. She always loved hearing Kaeden's exaggerated recounts of an event._

_Kaeden finally seemed satisfied with her choice of wardrobe for the evening and, as she continued to talk non-stop, she stripped unceremoniously and stood in only her undergarments._

_Ahsoka stared at her, mouth agape. The way the thin slip moved against Kaeden's breasts left her completely mesmerized. She had stopped hearing what Kaeden was saying, the sounds drawn out by her blood rushing around her ears._

_"And then," she continued, "the propulsors were… Are you okay?"_

_"Um…" Ahsoka said, blushing furiously. "Do you want me to go in the other room while you change?"_

_"Of course not, don't be absurd. Why would I want you to leave?"_

_"Because you're… erm… naked," Ahsoka explained._

_"So?"_

_"So… you're naked."_

_"Okay, first of all, I'm not naked. I have undergarments on. And second of all, you've got the same parts as I do, what's the big deal?" Kaeden brushed it off as she turned around to put some clothes back into her closet._

_"It's just all so…… exposed," Ahsoka gesticulated wildly for some reason, as if that would explain things. Kaeden turned around slowly._

_"Ahsoka, have you ever seen another person naked before?"_

_"…no."_

_"Not even at the Temple?"_

_"No."_

_"Where did you and the other Jedi change? Wasn't there some type of locker room at that Temple of yours?"_

_"Yes, but we changed in individual changing booths," Ahsoka explained._

_"So none of you have ever seen another naked being?!" Kaeden all but shouted._

_"Do I have to explain the attachment rule again?" Ahsoka asked._

_"What's the big deal? Don't you Jedi have excellent self-control?"_

_"Well, we don't want to kept tempting hormones with nakedness. It was hard enough the way it was. Try adding naked people parading around into the mix."_

_Kaden looked up then shrugged._

_"Fair enough. Look, if it makes you uncomfortable, go wait in the other room. It's fine." She said simply._

_"I think I should…"_

_Ahsoka turned to leave but stopped when Kaeden called her name._

_"It won't always be like this, right?"_

_"No," Ahsoka didn't turn around when she answered. "It won't. Just… please be patient with me."_

_"Of course I'll be patient, darling," Kaeden said tenderly. "I just want to make sure I plan accordingly for when the time comes that we get to see each other naked."_

_She smirked when she noticed a shiver run down Ahsoka's spine._

_"It won't be long, I promise." She said and left the room._

_"You're gonna be the death of me!" Kaeden said from behind the now closed door._

_"Like-wise," Ahsoka replied, trying to recompose herself._


	5. Chapter 5

After the purge she couldn't feel Anakin anymore. Ahsoka felt sadness like she never had before. The loneliness sometimes became overwhelming. But as her Jedi training taught her, you had to go on. You remembered fondly those who were now behind you and you marched onwards.

But now she was different. She mourned differently. She was no longer a Padawan. She used her training but her feelings had changed. Losing Anakin to the Dark Side felt worse than if he had indeed died. She wondered if it was because he had changed or because she had. There was a time she might have felt differently.

_Ahsoka arrived home in the middle of the night. She tiptoed into the bedroom where Kaeden was already asleep. She removed her boots and laid behind Kaeden, burring her face in her hair. The scent brought her some comfort and she let out a shaky breath. Kaeden had woken up, but stayed still. Something had gone wrong, she could tell. She allowed Ahsoka to take what she needed for a few beats then turned around. She looked at Ahsoka's eyes. They looked troubled and brimming with tears._

_"Oh, my love," Kaeden whispered, caressing Ahsoka's cheek._

_Kaeden opened her arms and took Ahsoka in. The Togruta let out a sob and cried against Kaeden's chest._

_Kaeden held her for as long as she needed to be held. She just let Ahsoka cry it out. She knew it had been bad. Ahsoka didn't talk much about her missions, but Kaeden knew some of what she did. She assumed lives had been lost._

_Finally, Ahsoka's sobs turned into whimpers and then just the occasional sniffle._

_Kaeden felt a kiss to her chest. Then another. And a third. Ahsoka raised to look at Kaeden's eyes. The blue orbs looked troubled, lost and desperate. She needed a connection, Kaeden knew._

_Kaeden kissed her for all she was worth. Holding her tightly, making sure Ahsoka would feel loved and safe._

_When they finally broke the kiss, Ahsoka nuzzled Kaeden's nose and cheek._

_"Do you know why attachments are forbidden for a Jedi?" Ahsoka asked. Kaden just shook her head, not sure if she should say anything. "I lost everyone I cared about yet I was still able to go on and not let that cloud my judgment, training or focus." She tucked a strand of Kaeden's curls behind her ear. "The mission was simple. Go to Mirial, find a Force sensitive child, inform the parents to be careful and leave. We have a database of Force sensitive children and I check in with them from time to time to make sure the Empire hasn't discovered them and that they're safe. That was all. Easy. But the Empire was already there. When I got to the family's house, their child had been taken. They were still in Mirial, so I sneaked into the ship to retrieve the child. I found over thirty Force sensitive kids being held captive. I tried to rescued them, but…" When she was unable to continue, Kaeden wanted to intervene but she knew it wasn't time yet. Ahsoka needed to let this out. "I tried to lead them out, but during our escape, dozens of walkers attacked us. Then troops came on foot. I tried to save them. I did everything I could. There were just so many of them. Kaeden…" She looked Kaeden dead in the eyes. "They're all dead."_

_"I'm so sorry." Kaeden held her and the tears fell freely once again. Kaeden stroked her back soothingly, feeling deeply for her love. She let her cry it out once again._

_Once Ahsoka calmed, she continued._

_"I went back to Coruscant and informed Senator Organa. He said he would try to contact the families of the victims. I only ever fought alongside Jedi and clones. When a Jedi died, we burned them, we remembered them and we moved on. When a clone died, not many mourned them. There was never any time to really feel a loss. Especially the loss of someone you don't have much of a connection with. And I've lost people before in worse ways. But… These were children. These families lost their babies. They will forever be affected by these deaths. And then all I could think of was you." Ahsoka caressed Kaeden's cheek. "If anything ever happened to you… I'm not a Jedi. I will never be a Jedi. I don't want to be a Jedi, because this horrible feeling I get thinking about what could happen to you… I don't ever want to lose that. You are too important to me and I want you to be important to me. Even if that changes who I was supposed to be. None of that matters anymore. Whenever I see you, it feels as powerful as the Force itself. I can't explain it. You are my lifeline, my sunshine, my joy, my everything."_

_"Oh, Ahsoka…" Kaeden whispered deep with emotion. "Every time you leave, my chest tightens up and it stays that way until you walk through my door once more. I'm sorry about what happened. I would tell you that those are the costs of war, even though we're not technically in one, but you know the costs of a war. You've been fighting a war for six years now. Since you were fourteen you fought, you lost, you killed. One doesn't go on without their scars."_

_"I always understood grief, but never quite like this."_

_"The stakes are higher when you've got something to lose, huh?" Kaeden said._

_"I always survived because of instinct. Now I survive because of you."_

_Kaeden took in a deep breath, holding back tears and whispered "you better." They kissed again, both drawing strength from each other. Kaeden made sure Ahsoka felt her, felt their connection. She wanted Ahsoka to know how much Kaeden needed her, loved her, wanted her._

_The passionate kiss kept escalating until Kaeden subconsciously brought a hand to Ahsoka's breast. Ahsoka gasped, but didn't protest. She continued the kiss and Kaeden massaged the mound, reveling on how perfectly it fit her hand._

_They broke the kiss, panting. Kaeden started to remove her hand from Ahsoka's breast, but an orange hand held it in place. She looked at Kaeden and kissed her cheek, slowing their pace._

_Kaeden then took Ahsoka's left lek in her hand caressed it. She had heard the lekku were sensitive areas, a theory that proved true when Ahsoka closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath._

_"This feels nice," Ahsoka said._

_"I want you to feel good."_

_"This helps," Ahsoka whispered and held Kaeden._

_The two cuddled together, caressing each other lightly until they fell asleep._

_**"My love…" A voice whispered as she felt lips brush against her own.** _

_**She couldn't make out a face, but the familiarity of it all calmed her down.** _

_**She felt fingers trace her sides as the lips lowered themselves to her collarbone, placing gentle kisses along the way. She heard herself whimper as the lips connected to her left breast over her camisole.** _

_**"Patience dearest," the lips husked and moved to her left lek. The gentle sucking motion was extremely arousing and she felt her hips jerk. The hand caresses continued on, tantalizingly slow. They gracefully made their way down, inching closer and closer to her burning center. The fingers danced around her thigh and painfully slowly approached where she needed them most…** _

_Ahsoka bolted upright on the bed, panting._

_"Are you okay?" Kaeden's sleepy voice asked with concern._

_Ahsoka looked at Kaeden wide-eyed._

_"Did you have a nightmare?"_

_"Not exactly," Ahsoka said, trying to get her breathing under control, still sitting up and holding the sheets against her chest._

_Kaeden sat up and touched Ahsoka's arm to offer some comfort, but that only made her jump._

_"What happened?"_

_"I, uh…" Ahsoka couldn't bring herself to say the words and realization dawned on Kaeden._

_"Sweetheart," Kaeden said tenderly. "Did you have a sexual dream?"_

_"You could say that." The embarrassment on her voice extremely apparent._

_"Was that the first time that happened to you?"_

_"Yes."_

_"They're normal, you know?" Kaeden said and Ahsoka finally looked at her, trying to find truth in what Kaeden was saying._

_"They are?"_

_"Yes. I've had plenty of them before."_

_"You have?"_

_"Mhm. Everybody has them. I mean, everybody who doesn't repress their sexuality."_

_"Oh…" Ahsoka's shoulder relaxed a little. "So it's okay to have them?"_

_"I'd say it's a healthy manifestation of what you're probably feeling," Kaeden said, then tentatively asked "was I in it?"_

_Ahsoka looked at Kaeden with trepidation then realized Kaeden wanted to be in it._

_"You were the star of it."_

_Kaeden beamed and Ahsoka felt extremely relieved._

_"Wanna tell me about it?"_

_"Absolutely not!"_

_"Why? I'm involved. I have the right to know!" Kaeden protested._

_"You have nothing of the sort. I may be sharing a home with you, but my thoughts are still mine," Ahsoka joked then froze at her own words. They hadn't discussed the fact that Ahsoka was basically living with Kaeden. It just happened organically. They hadn't even been intimate yet but here she was, making assumptions about sharing Kaeden's home._

_Kaeden smiled so wide that Ahsoka was confused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I mean… What I meant was… I'm not…"_

_"Ahsoka, do you want to live with me?" Kaeden asked._

_"I don't know how to answer that."_

_"How about with the truth?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Was that a question?"_

_"No. I mean 'Yes'. I mean, no, it wasn't a question. The answer is 'yes'."_

_"So we live together now?" Kaeden stood on her knees as she looked at Ahsoka excitedly._

_"I think we already have been, haven't we?" Ahsoka said unsure._

_"How would I know? You come to visit for a few days then you leave for a mission and I don't even know if you're ever coming back. I don't know if you're going to your own house or—"_

_"I don't have a house," Ahsoka interrupted. "I go on missions on my ship and that's where I stay until the mission is finished. Then I report to Senator Organa and come here."_

_"So your headquarter is here?"_

_Ahsoka chuckled at Kaeden's use of the term 'headquarter', but conceded it was just that._

_"I suppose it is."_

_"Well, then move your stuff here, silly!"_

_"I don't have any stuff."_

_"I don't have any stuff," Kaeden repeated in a high-pitched voice, as a child would. Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "Of course you have stuff. Everybody has stuff. Where is your stuff?"_

_"Quit asking me about my stuff. I told you, I don't have any stuff."_

_"Ahsoka, do you mean to tell me those pants, that top and those boots are the only piece of clothing you own?"_

_"More clothes would just slow me down."_

_"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!"_

_"What in the galaxy is wrong with that? I'm a warrior, not a holo-model," Ahsoka snipped._

_"But you are also my girlfriend and I demand…" Kaeden trailed off and both girls looked tense. They were only silent for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity._

_"Ahsoka?"_

_"Yeah…"_

_"You are my girlfriend, right?"_

_"I'm fairly sure that I am," Ahsoka said hesitantly and Kaeden breathed a sigh of relieve._

_"Okay, phew. Sometimes we're so weird I have no idea what we are. Man, it's hard dating a Jedi."_

_"I'm not a Jedi," Ahsoka said._

_"Right," Kaeden said, regretting her word choice. "Let's go back to the happy part about us being girlfriends? Please?"_

_Ahsoka smiled and took Kaeden's hand in her own._

_Kaeden moved to straddle Ahsoka and kissed her softly. Ahsoka buried her hand on Kaeden's hair and massaged the scalp, earning a soft moan from her. Kaeden pressed herself flush against Ahsoka and they both gasped at the sensation of their breasts rubbing together. It felt electrifying._

_Ahsoka's want was growing and she had to restrain herself from going any further. She stopped the kiss and, breathing heavily, looked deeply at Kaeden's eyes._

_"I love you," the Togruta said. "I love you more than I ever thought possible. You are everything I ever need in life. You are funny, kind, smart, beautiful, caring. I love you, Kaeden Larte. I love everything about you. I love you beyond comprehension."_

_Kaeden was in heaven. Ahsoka didn't have any relationship experience. She had trouble picking up cues, letting herself go, giving herself into sensations, accepting urges, understanding exchanges. She didn't expect Ahsoka to fully comprehend how she felt just yet._

_"I love you so much, Ahsoka. I think it might not even be very healthy how much I love you." Both girls chuckled and kissed once again. "I know you need your time. I can wait. I don't mind. You take as much time as you need, sweetheart."_

_"Thank you," Ahsoka nuzzled Kaeden's nose._

_"But if you want to tell me about your sexy dream…" Ahsoka rolled her eyes but laughed anyway._

_"You are incorrigible, you know that?"_

_"But you love my incorrigibility. You said it, you love all of me. There's no taking it back now."_

_"Please give me strength to survive Kaeden," Ahsoka said to the sky, as if she were asking the Force itself and Kaeden feigned shock. She lightly hit Ahsoka's shoulder and they both chuckled._

_"Do you need to take a cold shower or something before getting back to sleep?" Kaeden asked._

_"No, I'm fine."_

_"Okay, let's get back to sleep. You need to be up in about two hours."_

_Ahsoka opened her arms, inviting Kaeden._

_"I'm not sure your intentions towards me are entirely pure, Miss Tano," Kaeden joked and Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "Who's to say what goes on in that filthy mind of yours."_

_"Oh, so you don't want to cuddle?" Ahsoka smirked. She turned around and closed her eyes. Kaeden gasped._

_"Ahsoka Tano! What kind or preposterous behavior is that? You turn around this instant and you snuggle me to sleep, you understand?"_

_Ahsoka would continue the game, but she really did need to go to sleep. She simply rolled back towards Kaeden, opened her arms again and Kaeden smiled in victory, snuggling against her._

_"Night, sweetheart," Kaeden said._

_"Night, sweetie," Ahsoka replied._

Sleeping on the floor in Malachor wasn't nearly as pleasant as wrapped around Kaeden in their warm bed. Ahsoka sighed and went to sleep. Afterall, tomorrow was a new day. 

_"Please?"_

_"Absolutely not."_

_"Pretty please. With meiloorun syrup on top!" Kaeden asked with her hands clasped together._

_"Kaeden, I will not have you risk your life by coming with me on this mission because you want to make sure my ship is tidy."_

_"Okay, maybe that was just an excuse. But we're done with this year's harvest. I have plenty of time off. I want to spend it with you."_

_Ahsoka softened up a bit. "I know, my love. But it's dangerous. I'm not willing to take any chances where you're concerned. Especially after what happened on the last mission."_

_"That's exactly why I want to go. I don't need to get out of your ship. I just want to make sure you're not alone. That you're taken care of."_

_"I can take care of myself."_

_"Well, I don't like it that you put yourself at risk," Kaeden huffed._

_"I always came back. I can't guarantee I'll be able to bring you back as well. And that is unacceptable."_

_Kaeden pouted._

_"But all that wasted time off… I could be spending it kissing you, nibbling your lekku, caressing your sides, whispering sexy things in your ear to make you blush."_

_"All the more reason for you to stay."_

_"Pest!"_

_"I'll tell you what: I'll tell Senator Organa I'll be coming straight here after my mission and I'll send word to the palace here in Alderaan. This way I won't waste any time going to Coruscant. And I'll try to get it done as quickly as possible. How does that sound?"_

_"Fine," Kaeden conceded, but not ready to let the attitude drop._

_Ahsoka leaned against Kaeden and boldly reached to cup her left breast and whispered "what if I promise to make it worth the wait?"_

_She felt Kaeden's goosebumps and smirked._

_"Don't make promises you can't keep," Kaeden whispered._

_"I'm a woman of my word."_

_Over a standard month had gone by and Kaeden still hadn't heard from Ahsoka. She was getting frustrated and worried. She knew better than to contact anyone to ask, but she was desperate. She was going to try and get in touch with Senator Organa somehow. In a few days, he would be back to Alderaan and she would go to the capital, march to the palace and demand to see the Senator._

_The following morning, Kaeden had gone to work. She was bored and lonely. At least in the fields she had her colleagues to keep her company. She was walking around the fields, double checking the plantation, when she noticed Rylian, a colleague of hers, running towards her._

_"Kaeden!" He shouted._

_"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked concerned._

_"Kaeden, Senator Organa is here. He wants to speak to you."_

_"Ahsoka..." Kaeden's mouth fell open and she sprinted towards the general offices._


	6. Chapter 6

_"Hello, Ms. Larte," the Senator said politely once she went into the her superior' office. Mister Hedger, the man overseeing the operation, left the two alone._

_"What's wrong?" She asked immediately, then realized she was being rude. "I apologize for my brashness, sir, but you wouldn't be here unless it was bad news."_

_"I'm sorry we have to meet again under these circumstances. I know how important Ahsoka is to you and I know how important you are to her. I'm afraid Ahsoka has been captured and tortured during her latest mission," Kaeden's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. "I sent a team to retrieve her and they were successful, but the damage was severe. Ahsoka is being transported here to Alderaan as we speak. She will be treated at the hospital in the Capital. I wanted you to hear it from me. I would be glad to escort you to the Capital on my ship. I already discussed the details with Mister Hedger. You will be covered in your absence if you want to come."_

_"Yes, yes! I want to come," Kaeden said agitated._

_"Please go fetch whatever you need. I'll be waiting so we can leave as soon as possible."_

_Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. Kaeden always knew this was a possibility, but she wasn't prepared for it to happen. Trying to focus on the fact that Ahsoka was actually still alive, Kaeden hurriedly retrieved a few items of clothing, even remembering to bring some for Ahsoka, just in case._

_The journey to the Capital took an eternity in Kaeden's mind. She couldn't help but go over every scenario in her head, wondering what could have happened. How badly injured was she? Was it permanent? Would she wake up? Was she hanging by a thread? Flashes of their happy memories flooded her thoughts as the anguish built. Reality lied suspended. Nothing else mattered right now. The Senator took pity on her, she knew. But she couldn't find it in herself to care about what was happening around her. She needed to see Ahsoka. See that she was still here._

_Once at the Capital, they went straight to the hospital. Kaeden vaguely remembered Bail Organa mentioning an apartment available for her near the hospital, but she didn't let it register. It wasn't as if she was going to leave the hospital anyway. They walked down endless corridors until they reached a secluded area. The Senator asked Kaeden to sit while he talked to an attending nurse._

_Kaeden heard mumblings, but couldn't make out the words. Her hands contorted while she waited._

_Finally, the Senator made his way back to her, his face unreadable._

_"She's here," Senator Organa said once he had returned. "They're moving her to one of the bacta tanks. The doctor explained she sustained serious internal damage, so she's going to stay under observation. Her state is still critical." I have to go back to Coruscant, but I asked to be contacted immediately if anything changes. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Here is my personal comm."_

_Kaeden would have been touched if she wasn't so terrified. She sat on a chair and waited. An hour passed. Then two. By the third hour, Kaeden was about to lose her mind. Just when she thought she couldn't wait any longer…_

_"Kaeden!"_

_"Miara!?"_

_Miara ran to hug her sister._

_"I'm so sorry," Miara said, holding Kaeden tightly. "I came as soon as I heard. Do you know what happened?" Miara asked._

_"Only that she was captured and tortured. I don't even know if it was by the Empire or someone else entirely. There is serious internal damage and she's in critical condition," Kaeden started to cry as she explained and Miara snaked an arm around her sister._

_"Try not to think the worst. Let's take this one step at a time. She's here. She's alive. Let's hang on to that for now." Kaeden simply nodded, trying to believe the words._

_The sisters waited for only a few more minutes until a medical droid came out._

_"Anyone here for Fulcrum?" The droid asked._

_The two girls got up and approached the droid._

_"How is she?"_

_"She's in a bacta tank," the droid explained. "She is stable for now. Her lungs are extremely damaged. We won't know more until we see how she responds to the bacta. You may go in if you'd like."_

_"She's stable," Miara said, trying to sound hopeful._

_"That doesn't mean anything," Kaeden stressed._

_"One step at a time," Miara reminded her. She held Kaeden's hand and walked her to the door. Miara stopped as Kaeden walked towards the room and when she reached the door, she took a deep breath bracing herself for whatever she would find. Miara rubbed her shoulder and Kaeden nodded her appreciation._

_Kaeden opened the door and crept through the room that was lit only by the blue light coming from the tank. When her eyes landed on Ahsoka, Kaeden noticed her perfect orange skin looking lifeless. She still seemed as beautiful as ever, but she didn't have her natural vigor. Kaeden took the opportunity to assess the damage. Ahsoka's stunning body was covered in cuts and bruises. Ahsoka was tough. She could handle pain. If she was in this state, then it must have been really bad. Kaeden reached out to touch the glass and traced the contour of Ahsoka's form, almost as if she could touch her._

_Ahsoka was only wearing undergarments._

_It felt strange looking at Ahsoka in undergarments. It felt invasive somehow. She knew how embarrassed Ahsoka would be if she knew Kaeden was looking at her in such state of undress._

_"Too bad, my love. That's what you get for getting hurt," Kaeden said tenderly, leaning against the glass, as if she was holding Ahsoka herself. Kaeden stared at her face, studying her features, committing them to memory. She didn't want to admit it but part of that was to make sure she remembered Ahsoka exactly as she was should anything happen. Her soft brows, her lekku and montrels, her toned biceps, her strong fingers, her surprisingly delicate, yet muscular legs, the curvature of her breasts, her perfect feet. Two of her favorite features were blocked: the breathing mask prevented her from seeing the luscious lips and her closed eyes shielding the most beautiful blue orbs Kaeden had ever seen._

_She stood there for a long time before Miara knocked on the door._

_"Hey, how about we go get something to eat?" The younger sister suggested._

_"What if she wakes up?"_

_"If she wakes up, we'll hear about it. Come on."_

_Kaeden nodded reluctantly, looking back for one last glance at Ahsoka, then left with her sister. There in the hallway, she saw Vartan and his gentle smile. Kaeden blinked in astonishment and walked towards him to give him a proper hug. But instead, there was a loud piercing noise and she felt a set of hands catching her as she went down._

_Kaeden came to almost immediately and the small crowd that had gathered around her buzzed in relief._

_"Kaeden, what happened?" Miara asked. Kaeden tried to reorient herself as Vartan held her head down._

_"Lie down for a second. Let the blood rush back into your head," he said worriedly._

_"I'm fine," she said. "I just need some juice or something."_

_Miara rushed to the nearby machine to get some juice as a droid took Kaeden's blood pressure._

_"I said I was fine," Kaeden huffed, pulling her arm away then getting up. "I just got a little lightheaded."_

_Miara came back and gave her some juice, which she gratefully drank. Vartan helped escort her into a chair and sat next to her. Miara took the seat on the other side. Kaeden looked at the medical droid irritated._

_"You can leave. I'm alright. Go take care of people who actually need it."_

_Miara and Vartan knew she was letting out her frustrations but decided not to say anything. She needed to vent._

_The three waited for a while longer until they were satisfied Kaeden felt better and walked her back to Ahsoka's bacta tank room. Once she got in, Kaeden noticed the chair she had requested after she left had been brought in. She positioned it directly in front of Ahsoka to make sure she would see if Ahsoka woke up._

_Time passed in the room with little sign of improvement. There was no window so the only way Kaeden knew the difference between one day from the next was the regular visits from her sister, who would come in wearing different clothes. Medical droids would occasionally come in to take notes and examine vital signs then would leave Kaeden to her thoughts once more. Kaeden had completely disregarded her work, sleep or food. Whatever little she had to eat was because Miara would bring her food. The exhaustion was starting to take its toll on her and Miara offered to keep an eye on Ahsoka while Kaeden slept. Reluctantly, she accepted._

_Kaeden had planned on only sleeping for about an hour, but she was surprised to find she woke up six hours later._

_"I'm glad you got some rest," Miara said. "You know Ahsoka will need you when she wakes up."_

_Kaeden looked at Ahsoka, almost afraid to have missed something. Miara wanted to keep Kaeden company, but she felt like she was intruding on an intimate moment between the two. She knew it sounded silly, but somehow it felt real. After saying goodbye for the day, Miara left._

_Kaeden looked at Ahsoka's motionless form._

_"I'm mad at you, Ahsoka. I'm mad because you should have been more careful. You should have known better than to let yourself get captured. How dare you do this to me? Do you have any idea what I'm going through? I can't bear to think of losing you. I need you. I need you here with me. You hear me? Wake up. Wake up!"_

_Long moments passed, Ahsoka absolutely still and unconscious. Kaeden buried her face in her hands and wept._

_She heard water slushing around and quieted, her face still in her hands. When she heard it again, her head snapped upwards and she saw Ahsoka moving inside the tank. Kaeden quickly got up and pressed the emergency button on the panel. Not a moment later, a medical droid came into the room._

_"She's moving! She's moving!" Kaeden said, pointing at the tank._

_The droid examined the vitals and analyzed the data._

_"It would appear the healing process was successful. She is ready to get out of the tank."_

_Kaeden couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her heart was swelling with joy._

_"You hear that, love? You're getting out. You're going to be okay."_

_The droid eyed her curiously, wondering why she was talking to an unconscious patient, but chalked it up to strange human behavior and continued to do its job._

_"Miss, I need you to wait outside while we move her to a room."_

_"Yes, sure, of course," Kaeden said in excited relief._

_She left the room and contacted Senator Organa and Miara then waited._

_Finally, she was called back to Ahsoka's new room._

_Ahsoka had been changed into a hospital gown and her head was tipped slightly to the side. Kaeden all but tiptoed towards the bed, afraid any motion would hurt Ahsoka. Kaeden studied her features carefully and, as much as her heart hurt to see Ahsoka wounded, she couldn't deny the happiness she felt. She surveyed the stark room and accessed its contents. The bed was in the middle and there was an IV hooked to Ahsoka's left arm feeding saline into her body. Her right wrist was wrapped with bandages. The monitor stood on her right, beeping steadily every few seconds, ensuring Kaeden Ahsoka's heart was still beating. A little further away from the monitor was a chair and across the foot of the bed there was a sofa. She walked towards the chair and placed it next to the bed. Kaeden sat down carefully and looked at Ahsoka. She did not look peaceful, Kaeden thought. Not like she usually looks when she sleeps. Even though her face was emotionless, Kaeden could almost feel the pain that probably tormented her beautiful blue eyes behind closed lids. Kaeden placed her hands on the edge of the bed. She caressed orange knuckles then took the limp hand between hers as she gently lowered herself to kiss it. She brought her other hand to Ahsoka's chest, finding comfort in feeling her heart beating beneath it._

_Ahsoka's eyes fluttered and she let out a sigh as her vision focused on the form above her. Kaeden's smell permeated the room and Ahsoka knew who it was before her eyes could reveal the presence. She tried to raise her hand, but winced at the pain. The softest of sights escaped her lips and Kaeden gasped._

_"Hey, you!" Kaeden whispered through a smile, softly grazing her fingers against Ahsoka's lek._

_"Kaeden," Ahsoka said softly and Kaeden cupped her cheek, moving her thumb back and forth against Ahsoka's cheek._

_"I'm so happy to hear your voice."_

_Ahsoka's only reply was a tired hum._

_"I was so scared, my love."_

_"I'm sorry," Ahsoka said hoarsely and, with an exhale, she let her eyes fall shut again._

_"I know you are. Don't ever do that again, okay?"_

_Ahsoka tried to raise her arm again and, with a groan, she managed to touch Kaeden's face. Kaeden held her hand then kissed it._

_But then, Ahsoka's arm slumped beside her and she gave a sleepy sigh then succumbed to the effects of the drugs._

_Kaeden watched Ahsoka's chest rise and fall for a long while, grateful that she was still here with her. Kaeden knew she was probably under heavy medication to numb the pain and silently thanked the droids for keeping her sedated while she healed._

_"You just sleep, my love. I'll take care of you. You can sleep peacefully."_

_The following morning, Ahsoka woke up feeling a lot better._

_"Good morning, sweetheart," Kaeden said._

_"Hi," Ahsoka replied with a smile._

_"How are you feeling?" Kaeden asked._

_"Better than I look probably."_

_"That's because you've got lots and lots of drugs," Kaeden smiled then sobered. "You really scared me."_

_"I know. I'm so sorry. It was all so confusing."_

_"You don't have to talk about that now," Kaeden reassured her and Ahsoka nodded. "I just want you to focus on getting better so we can go home and you can rest properly and in your own bed."_

_Ahsoka tried to push herself up on the bed, but winced when she folded her broken wrist._

_"Oh… I hadn't noticed this." Ahsoka raised her wounded arm as Kaeden helped her sit up._

_"Yeah, you broke your wrist. But you're expected to make a full recovery, so don't be discouraged."_

_Ahsoka sighed frustrated, wondering how long it would take for her to get back to work._

_"I'm sorry I wasn't able to contact you sooner, Kaeden. I know I should have been home weeks earlier."_

_"I told you not to make promises you couldn't keep," Kaeden said, tenderly grazing her fingers against Ahsoka's brows._

_"Haven't broken it yet," Ahsoka replied._

_Kaeden leaned into Ahsoka's ear and whispered "I can't wait."_

_"Sometimes I feel like you're going to kill me," Ahsoka shivered._

_"You are doing a fine job at that yourself," Kaeden said softly, but Ahsoka sensed some resentment. She let it drop for now._

_A knock on the door interrupted the conversation._

_"Come in," Kaeden said._

_"Good morning," Senator Organa said with a smile. Kaeden got up to shake his hand._

_"Good morning, Senator," Kaeden said._

_"Glad to see you're feeling better," he said to Ahsoka._

_"I am. Thank you. I assume getting Kaeden here was your doing. So thank you for that as well."_

_"It was the least I could do. We're all relieved you're safe. Ahsoka, your sacrifices for the Rebellion have not gone unnoticed. We are extremely grateful for everything you've done for us. If there's any sort of compensation we can give you, anything we can offer to make your life a little easier in the long run, please let me know."_

_"Senator…" Ahsoka hesitated. "There's an empty cottage by a lake back where we live…" She trailed off, hoping the senator would get what she was going for._

_"It's yours," the man smiled._

_Kaeden gasped excitedly._

_"If you need anything else, let me know. I have to go back to the Palace. It's my daughter's third birthday. Time sure flies." He nodded to both women and left._

_"I can't believe you asked for that cottage we saw on our first date! Ahsoka!"_

_"I'm sorry I didn't ask you first. I had been thinking about that and the opportunity just presented itself."_

_"Are you kidding! This is amazing! I've always wanted to live in that house."_

_"It does looks amazing."_

_Kaeden started babbling about decorations and all sorts of plans. Ahsoka felt peaceful. Kaeden's voice was the perfect remedy to drawn out the torture she had endured.  
_


	7. Chapter 7

_With a change in her medication, Ahsoka was able to be discharged sooner than expected. She would rather be groggy but in her own house than more alert but at the hospital._

_Kaeden opened the door for her and Ahsoka walked in and smiled._

_"Feels good to be home."_

_"I bet," Kaeden said. "Would you like to get settled in the sitting room or the bedroom?"_

_"Bedroom."_

_Kaeden ushered her to bed and helped her sit. She tried to help, but Ahsoka held up her hand._

_"I got it," Ahsoka said lazily trying to kick her shoes off while Kaeden went into the fresher. She quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, freshened up and came back to find Ahsoka with only one shoe off. Kaeden placed her hands on her hips and watched. She was upset at what had happened to Ahsoka but she would be lying if she didn't admit this was partially amusing._

_"Love, I know you are all I am woman, hear me roar, but please let me help just this once?"_

_Ahsoka let out a sigh and her hands went limp. Kaeden nodded and helped her remove the other shoe and unclasped the back of her top. If Ahsoka was bothered by Kaeden stripping her, she didn't let it show. In fact, she was almost half asleep by the time Kaeden finished undressing her upper body. Clad in only pants and a bra, Ahsoka slumped forward, resting her head on Kaeden's stomach._

_"See this?" Kaeden heard Ahsoka mumble._

_"See what?" Ahsoka answered with a long sigh and Kaeden caressed the back of her head._

_"You're flying pretty high, aren't you?"_

_"I don't feel pain," Ahsoka stated simply._

_"I'm happy to hear it," Kaeden put her finger under Ahsoka's chin and pecked her lips. "Please try to sit up while I get you some nightclothes."_

_"It's not night," Ahsoka protested._

_"You'll be asleep anyway."_

_"Fair enough."_

_Kaeden stood up and held Ahsoka's arms. "Come on, try and get up so I can remove your pants and put your nightclothes on."_

_"Don't be sexy," Ahsoka warned._

_"I don't think that can be helped," Kaeden joked, pulling Ahsoka up. Once she was sure Ahsoka wasn't going to fall, she crouched and removed her pants._

_"That's not how I pictured the first time you undressed me." Kaeden could have sworn she heard a whine in there. Ahsoka placed her hand on Kaeden's shoulder and raised one foot at a time for Kaeden to remove her pants._

_"Don't worry," Kaeden reassured her. "I've undressed you plenty in my head anyway."_

_"You're naughty."_

_"Don't tell me you haven't thought about me naked."_

_"It's not in my nature to lie, so I just choose to remain silent," Ahsoka said, one lid closing before the other._

_Kaeden scrunched up a nightdress and put the opened hole on the floor for Ahsoka to step into._

_"Mhm. You pretend to be all pure and celestial. But I know better, Tano. I know what goes on in that beautiful head of yours."_

_"Whas'that?" She asked groggily and Kaeden knew it was time to hurry so the Togruta could get some sleep. She pulled the nightdress up and went around Ahsoka to button it on the back._

_"You think about me naked."_

_"I admit to nothing."_

_Finally ready, Kaeden helped her sit then lie back._

_"Yeah, yeah. You just keep thinking dirty thoughts." Kaeden said, covering her and turning off the light._

_"Will you lie with me?" Ahsoka asked._

_"Was planning on it," Kaeden smiled and moved to the other side. She laid carefully, mindful of Ahsoka's injuries, and scooted next to her. She placed a hand on her stomach and caressed it. Ahsoka grew weary and her breathing slowed._

_"I'm glad you're here," Ahsoka mumbled and Kaeden kissed her shoulder._

_"Sleep."_

_"I think about you naked all the time," Ahsoka said before sleep claimed her._

_A few days passed and Ahsoka was able to wean off her medication slowly. She was getting stronger and more and more like herself every day. She hadn't talked about her capture or the torture yet. And Kaeden let her take her time. She had started rehabilitation for her hand. As the overachieving Jedi inside of her proved to still be very much alive, she was recovering in record time. Since her physical training was limited, Ahsoka meditated often. She would use the Force in different ways to make sure everything she knew was very well developed, sharp and within her command. And it helped put the haunting images away._

_One day, Kaeden arrived home to find all her furniture floating in the air while Ahsoka sat cross legged on the floor with eyes closed. She didn't say anything to break Ahsoka's concentration, but she knew Ahsoka had sensed her presence._

_The furniture slowly made its way back to the floor and Ahsoka opened her eyes and smiled._

_"Hello, my love," she said._

_"That'll come in handy when we finally have to move," Kaeden said with arms crossed against her chest, leaning on a doorframe._

_"If I can't practice physically, I have to at least practice mentally," Ahsoka shrugged._

_Kaeden helped Ahsoka up and gave her a deep kiss._

_"Hello," Kaeden said after they parted. Not satisfied, Ahsoka pulled Kaeden towards her for another kiss. Kaeden captured the swollen lips in a slow, deep and sensual kiss._

_Kaeden's hands began to roam the front of Ahsoka's attire as the kiss demanded a firmer touch. She kneaded and massaged soft curves as Ahsoka cupped Kaeden's rear end, making their pelvis grind against one another. Ahsoka tried to run her hands up Kaeden's body, but was stopped by a sharp pain in her wrist and she winced._

_Kaeden opened her eyes and found Ahsoka cradling her injured hand and took half a step back._

_"It's okay, my love," she reassured Ahsoka._

_"I'm sorry. You know if it wasn't for this…" She trailed off. Kaeden clicked her tongue._

_"We're not in a rush," Kaeden said to comfort Ahsoka, but even she had trouble believing her own words._

_"Soon," Ahsoka said and pecked Kaeden's lips._

_She sat on the sofa and rested her hands on her laps. Kaeden followed her lead and sat next to her._

_"I hate that they did this to me," Ahsoka finally said something about what had happened and Kaeden hoped she would let some of it out. She waited quietly, wishing more would come. She could see Ahsoka's efforts at trying to calm herself. Most of the time she admired that side of her, but not now. Not when she needed to feel._

_Ahsoka closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She stretched her neck to both sides in an attempt to relax and then opened her eyes. She looked at Kaeden with a more serene expression._

_"I found a Force sensitive four year old Togruta girl. A gorgeous little face and funny as can be. It's interesting how someone that small already has strong personality traits. I try to look out for all Force sensitive kids, but I had a special bond with this one. Togrutas share an interesting connection. There aren't very many of us around, so when we do see one another, it's almost as if a sense of familiarity settles. It's a comfort. Especially between Force sensitive Togrutas. When I got there this last time, she had been taken by the Empire. They had already left the planet but I was able to track them back to a facility on a nearby moon. I asked for backup and I waited so we could organize our attack. I reached out and I sensed her fear. Kaeden, she was terrified. It was pulling at my heart. But when I tried to feel her, I also felt other children. I couldn't wait any longer. I informed the squadron that was still travelling to my location and went in. I sneaked inside and managed to find my way to the kids. Some were babies. It was going to be impossible to get them all out. But there were a few older ones, so we worked together to try and get everyone out. We were almost out the door when one of the babies started to cry. We were all stunned, there was never any chance. When I came to, I was chained to a wall. A while later, a man came in and he tortured me, tried to get information out of me. Of course I didn't say anything. But when he got irritated, he brought little Mayla in. That's the Togruta girl. They started to torture her instead for me to watch. I couldn't give out their location, Kaeden," Ahsoka said, as if she had to justify herself. "If I did, not only would they find all the other children we have on our database, they would find the Rebellion. One sacrifice for the entire Rebellion doesn't seem like much. But it's far too much when it's a helpless four year old kid. Killed slowly to make me talk."_

_Ahsoka was crying. Ahsoka didn't cry much. Only on extreme situations. And this was definitely extreme. Kaeden didn't know what to say. She didn't think there was anything to say, so she cupped Ahsoka's face with her hands, forcing her to look into her eyes._

_"You saved millions," Kaeden said and that only made Ahsoka cry harder. She hugged Kaeden's mid-section and buried her face on Kaeden's stomach. Kaeden caressed her back lek, letting her cry. She was tired of seeing Ahsoka come back defeated in different ways. She was tired of seeing her hurting. She held Ahsoka for as long as she needed, until Ahsoka exhausted herself to sleep. Kaeden repositioned her on the sofa and covered her._

_"When you wake up, we're going to do something fun. It's decided," Kaeden thought._

_Kaeden and Ahsoka were actually able to have a few days of nothing but fun and tenderness. Everything both women needed to recover from the terrible ordeal. One night, after a pleasurable day and a delicious dinner, they were chatting before bed._

_"I need to get ready," Ahsoka said. "I'm leaving for a mission tomorrow."_

_"I'm sorry, you're leaving for a what now?" Kaeden asked._

_"A mission."_

_"Oh, so I did hear you correctly the first time," Kaeden said aggressively._

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"I can't believe you."_

_"What?"_

_"Ahsoka, you almost died. You really almost died. This isn't an exaggeration."_

_"I know, Kaeden, I was there."_

_"No, I don't think you know. You weren't really there for a good chunk of it. You were swimming in a bacta tank, blissfully unaware of the pain going on outside."_

_"Unaware?" Ahsoka said. "I know very well what I went through. And it wasn't just the time at the hospital. Or the recovery at home. I remember every little detail of the torture I endured, Kaeden. It's all etched in my mind forever. I don't think I'll ever forget what I went through."_

_"Then why are you risking yourself again?"_

_"Because this is bigger than me. This is too important."_

_"And we aren't important?"_

_"Of course we are. But you're failing to see the bigger picture here."_

_"Oh, I'm the one failing to see the bigger picture? Because in my bigger picture, the galaxy is still doomed!"_

_Ahsoka looked shocked._

_"You don't believe in the Rebellion," it was more a statement than a question. "Then why are you even here?"_

_"Because of you."_

_"Kaeden…" Ahsoka was disappointed. "A part of me is flattered you're here for me, but don't you care about the cause?" She asked softly._

_"Ahsoka, I wasn't raised to carry the weight of the galaxy on my shoulders. This duty you feel towards the galaxy, I don't have that. I don't understand that."_

_"So you think it's okay that we live under this Empire?"_

_"Of course I don't. But it's not my job to fight it."_

_"Then whose job is it?"_

_"I don't know. Someone else's."_

_"If everyone thought like that, there would be nobody to fight for freedom."_

_"Maybe the Empire isn't so bad."_

_"You don't believe that," Ahsoka said. "I know you don't. How can you say that? Especially after what happened on Raada. And all the people you lost there? All the people who died for no reason?"_

_"Yes, that hurt. And that's why I don't want you going back out there. It'll hurt even worse if you die. I can't have anything happen to you, Ahsoka," Kaeden said verging on hysteria. "I love you. Don't you understand that?"_

_"And I love you. That's why I fight, Kaeden. Because I love you. I don't want you to live in fear. I want us to live in a galaxy where we don't have to be afraid anymore. I want that not just for us, but for everyone."_

_"But at what cost?"_

_"If it cost me my life, at least I'll go down knowing it was for decency."_

_"Stop being so selfless!"_

_"The Jedi are selfless."_

_"You are not a Jedi!" Kaeden shouted angrily, but regretted her words. She softened. "You don't want me to live in fear. I already live in fear."_

_"I learned something," Ahsoka said. "Those kids were either going to die or be turned to the Dark side. I can try and save as many as I can or I can turn my back on them. I am all they've got."_

_Kaeden felt the force of Ahsoka's words and brought a hand to her heart._

_"I think I'm going to sleep at the cottage tonight," Ahsoka said. Kaeden started to protest, but Ahsoka stopped her. "You should take some time to think about what you want. And to think about who I am and if you really want to be with me. And I don't want you to just impulsively say you want to be with me. I want you to really think about this. I won't stop fighting. I will never stop fighting. You need to understand that. This is who I am. This is who I've always been. This is who I'll always be. I love you, Kaeden. Sleep well."_

_Ahsoka left without looking back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't pass up on the opportunity of drugged Ahsoka.
> 
> I am going away for a long weekend and will be unable to post. I have all the chapters outlined and a lot of it written already. I'll try and post as much as I can before I go back to the regular schedule on Monday.


	8. Chapter 8

Kaeden never did understand Ahsoka had no choice. She understood that's what life with Ahsoka would be like, but she didn't fully grasp that this was beyond Ahsoka's ability to choose. She couldn't not fight. How could she not, when she had so much to give? No, it was never a matter of choice. It was her duty. Kaeden tried to explain to her that it was indeed her choice, even though Ahsoka couldn't see it. Ahsoka was able to see her point to an extent. Of course she could choose to do nothing, but how would she feel if she did? If that's the case, then everything in life is about choices. It would be as if Anakin had chosen the Dark side, and he couldn't have… Realization dawned on Ahsoka.

"He _chose_ the Dark side," she said. Just then, the convor, who had been missing for a long time, appeared and circled around her. It flew to the first cave where she saw all the images that led her to this path of discovery. She ran. She ran as fast as she could. She panted, but never slowed, determined to get to the bottom of this. She was on the verge, she could feel it. Her legs burned, but she couldn't stop now. She was so close. She followed the same path, but this time there was no darkness. She knew her light. She knew who she was. She was more than she had ever been before. She went under the waterfall, walked the stairs and finally found herself in the river. She looked around and then she saw him. Darth Vader, standing like a pillar of power, towering over her.

"You shouldn't have come back," his processed voice said. He lit his light saber and walked towards her. She lit hers, but only to defend herself from his strikes. 

"Anakin, I'm sorry I left you," she said as he stroke furiously, landing blow after blow. "But it's not my fault. Who you've become is not my fault. It's not Padme's fault. It's not Obi-Wan's fault. It's not even Palpatine's fault. It's your own. You chose this path. You didn't have the strength to go on. I'm not blaming you, Anakin. I understand. You felt alone. You were in despair. You were scared. We all have our moments. But you never accepted to let go." He was cornering her, aggressively hitting his saber against hers. She never attacked back, she only defended herself. "You never accepted death. Death is natural. You can't fight it. You can miss them, but you can't fight it. Stop fighting, Anakin. You are good. I know who you are. " She crossed her sabers to prevent a direct blow to the face and held it there. "I love you, Master. Even after all you've done. I love you. You are still my brother. I forgive you."

And with that, the images dissipated.

"The Dark side, the Light side. They're both in us," she realized. "All there is, is your essence. You have choices. Everyone is both good and bad. What makes us choose the path to the Light side is the courage to let go, to be selfless, to understand it's not just about us. That there is more than just us. Anakin knows that. He just lost his way."

The convor flew into a new cave entrance and Ahsoka frowned. She didn't remember that opening before. And she had explored those caves to exhaustion. She crossed the threshold and found herself at the edge of a deep lagoon. Behind her, images of white wolves circled the entrance. This place was supposed to be absolutely dark, but something was shining a white light that illuminated the area. She looked around, trying to find the source only to realize it was her. Her skin was glowing a bright white and she inspected her arms. Suddenly a gush of wind picked up and her lekku and clothes flew in every direction. A loud, piercing noise filled the air and Ahsoka felt compelled to dive into the water. And so she did.

She was submerged for a long while before she came out, her shape was a big, white wolf. She felt different. She was different. Confident in herself, she ran. She ran back to the first cave and saw all the images she had seen before. The deaths of Master Plo, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayala Secura, she even saw some she hadn't seen before. Masters Shaak-Ti, Luminara, Windu. One by one they fell. Younglings, Padawans, Masters. Everyone. She saw Vader striking a cloaked Master that she couldn't make out, but curiously, he disappeared. She saw Vader kneeling before Palpatine and then she saw the two suns of Tatooine. She saw a young boy looking into the distance and wondered if that was Anakin. She couldn't make out his face. The images dissipated and she felt peace.

She ran back to her forest, transformed into her Tortruta form again and took any food she could so she could prepare for her journey back. She was ready.

She looked at the forest one last time and smiled. "There is beauty even in the most wretched places. There is good in you, Anakin. Somehow you'll find it again." She transformed into a bird and flew upwards.

Ahsoka surveyed the area and found the abandoned ship she knew would be there. Finally packed and ready to leave, she boarded the ship and set her course to Alderaan. She had to get to Kaeden.

_For eight days Kaeden tortured herself thinking about her argument with Ahsoka. Finally, before she was getting ready to make dinner, there was a knock on the door. Kaeden opened it and was surprised to see Ahsoka._

_"Hi," Ahsoka said tentatively._

_"Hi," Kaeden said back._

_"I just wanted to let you know I'm back and I'm safe."_

_"Thank you."_

_"I'll be staying at the cottage."_

_"Okay…"_

_"Good night," Ahsoka said and left._

_"Bye…"_

_Kaeden cried._

_Two days went by and Ahsoka came back._

_"We both still have things we need to figure out, but in the meantime, you still deserve to know this: I'm leaving in the morning for a mission. It should take around six days. I'll let you know when I'm back."_

_"Thanks."_

_They both hated this situation. This wasn't them. But at the same time, Kaeden needed to understand that Ahsoka wasn't going to change. Could she live like this forever? What was the alternative?_

_For five days Kaeden thought about her life and her relationship with Ahsoka. The reality was: if she and Ahsoka ended things there, Kaeden would suffer, move on and find someone else. But the trouble is, there was no one else. Ahsoka was it for her. She knew that. She would have to accept it. Kaeden couldn't take it anymore. She went over to the empty cottage and she would wait for Ahsoka there._

_Once she opened the door, she found the place tidy and mostly furnished. She worried, wondering if Ahsoka was planning on moving there permanently on her own._

_She explored and found half of the closet was empty. Not that Ahsoka's half had a lot in it anyway, but one half was labelled 'Ahsoka' and the other, 'Kaeden'. She breathed a sigh of relief, but immediately her eyes welled up with tears. Clearly Ahsoka had been hoping things worked out between them. This was her way of processing everything and hanging on to hope. She wanted this to work. And Kaeden did too. Ahsoka accepted Kaeden for who she was. Could Kaeden say the same for her? A pang of guilt washed over her. She couldn't change who Ahsoka was and she should stop trying. That's what made her fall in love in the first place. Technically, she fell for Ahsla. But that was only a crush. The woman who had truly stolen her heart was Ahsoka. And she knew that. And she didn't want it back._

_Ahsoka opened the door and was surprised to find Kaeden there. They stood in silence for a minute, both looking expectantly at the other. When Kaeden smiled, Ahsoka knew her decision. Ahsoka ran to her and their mouths connected at full force._

_Ahsoka placed one hand on Kaeden's neck and another on her lower back bringing their bodies closer together. Kaeden roamed her hands against Ahsoka's body, massaging her breasts. She had learned Ahsoka enjoyed that, so she went with what she'd learned. Encouraged by a soft moan that escaped Ahsoka's throat, Kaeden cupped Ahsoka's sex and the Togruta's eyes shot open. She looked deeply into Kaeden's eyes. Ahsoka's eyes were clouded with lust and a hint of fear. Kaeden gave her a reassuring kiss and Ahsoka melted._

_"Am I the only one shaking or are you as nervous as I am?" Ahsoka asked stuttering a little._

_"Yeah, pretty nervous," Kaeden said._

_Kaeden reached for the clasp of Ahsoka's skirt and Ahsoka let Kaeden slide the item down her legs. Ahsoka lifted Kaeden's shirt over her head, tossing it to the side and let her hands roam her collarbone and chest. They stumbled over to the bedroom and Ahsoka pushed Kaeden back on the mattress. After taking off Kaeden's pants, Ahsoka laid on top of her, kissing her neck. She looked down and drank in the beauty that laid before her. She felt the urge to push her pelving against Kaeden's, making the girl moan and wirthe beneath her, and Ahsoka's want grew even more._

_"Kaeden," Ahsoka said panting, her lips swollen and eyes open to a half mast. "I want to make love to you." The request made Kaeden slightly woozy and she felt an overwhelming sense of tenderness towards Ahsoka. Not to mention incredibly tingly between her legs._

_Kaeden rolled them over and straddled Ahsoka instead, pinning her arms above her head. She looked at Ahsoka and caressed her arms and chest slowly. She lowered her head and captured Ahsoka's lips in a soft, tender kiss, slowing their pace considerably. Ahsoka lowered her arms and caressed Kaeden's sides, running her fingers up and down her torso. Kaeden ran her hands down Ahsoka's arms and threaded her fingers with Ahsoka's. She then grabbed Ahsoka's wrists and brought the smaller hands to her own back, placing them over the hook of her bra. Ahsoka took the hint and unhooked it, sliding the straps down Kaeden's arms. After discarding her bra, Ahsoka hesitantly put her hands on Kaeden's breasts and cupped the weight. Kaeden's low moan told her to keep going and Ahsoka squeezed them gently then circled the nipples with her thumb._

_Kaeden placed one hand under Ahsoka's body embracing her and the other was placed on her forehead, where her orange skin met her montrals, running down ever so slowly until it reached a flushed cheek. Kaeden touched her lips to Ahsoka, brushing them gently. She nibbled on the Togruta's bottom lip waiting for her approval to enter. Once entrance was granted, their tongues danced on their own accord. A moan escaped Ahsoka's lips. Kaeden kissed her way to Ahsoka's jaw then her neck. She sucked on the sensitive spot where the neck met the shoulder._

_Ahsoka had yet to move her hands, which were firmly placed on Kaeden's breasts. She was in too much of a trance to do much else._

_Just as Kaeden was about to leave a mark, she moved further south, leaving a trail of kisses on the exposed skin on the panting woman's chest. Kaeden then repositioned herself, sitting back on Ahsoka's thighs, her knees on either side of Ahsoka's body. Kaeden's hands got lost under the top Ahsoka was wearing. She could feel stomach muscles tensing under her touch and gently massaged them to ease Ahsoka up. Kaeden had to make sure Ahsoka was comfortable with what she was doing._

_Kaeden's hands went to either side of Ahsoka's torso and began to ascend ever so slowly, giving Ahsoka the chance to stop her whenever she felt the need. When Kaeden reached her breasts, her thumbs made circular motions on the outside. Ahsoka's face flushed an even greater shade of orange. Kaeden removed her hands from under the top and opened it from the back, freeing the Togruta from the offensive item. After removing her bra, Kaeden stared at Ahsoka in awe._

_"You are so beautiful." Kaeden put her hand on Ahsoka's chest and ran it down the valley between Ahsoka's breasts and then back up again. Kaeden's hands moved to encase her mounds and Kaeden took one into her mouth. She alternated between sucking and applying pressure with her tongue on the hardened tip. After doing this for a while, she traveled to the other breast, placing her hand on the now unattended wet nipple. Her kisses traveled further south and she positioned herself between Ahsoka's legs making quick work of Ahsoka's panties. Kaeden's hands caressed the inside of Ahsoka's thighs and moved up slowly._

_"Kaeden, please…" Ahsoka pleaded with a hint of desperation as her hips rocked on the bed._

_Kaeden parted her folds with a finger causing the girl underneath to shiver. She felt the evidence of her arousal and felt bad for not having touched her sooner. When she started to graze her fingers around the little bundle of nerves, Ahsoka gasped and her eyes shot open. Kaeden smiled and lowered herself wanting to taste her for the first time. She planted a few butterfly kisses on Ahsoka's center, which caused Ahsoka's hips to jerk, and took a swipe of her sex. She sucked gently on the inner folds before running her tongue down to her opening. Kaeden decided her juices tasted just as delicious as they smelled._

_Ahsoka was writhing underneath her and Kaeden was growing very aroused just by watching the scene unfold. She left her spot and kissed her way up Ahsoka's stomach. Ahsoka protested the lack of contact where she wanted Kaeden the most, but soon forgot it once Kaeden placed her hand over her womanhood._

_"Come here," Kaeden said, sitting on her bent legs and dragging Ahsoka's arms around her shoulders. "Hold on to me."_

_Once Ahsoka was straddling Kaeden's bent thighs, Kaeden pushed her middle finger inside and waited until Ahsoka could adjust to the new presence, knowing this might be uncomfortable._

_"You feel good," Kaeden said. Ahsoka felt herself stretch as the finger was pushed a little deeper. A tiny gasp escaped Ahsoka's lips. "It's okay," Kaeden said kissing her softly._

_Kaeden slid her finger out very slowly and then back in again with the same careful grace. She repeated that motion as Ahsoka buried her head on Kaeden's shoulder. She remained silent. Kaeden didn't know if she was in pain or enjoying this. Finally, Ahsoka rocked her hips into Kaeden's hand trying to extend the pleasure. Kaeden took the hint and slid in a second finger. Ahsoka's back arched at the new friction created inside and Kaeden captured her lips. She picked up the pace and fell into a steady rhythm, until Ahsoka actually moaned in pleasure. Kaeden tried to pick up the speed when she felt Ahsoka was starting to get to the point of release. Ahsoka knotted her brows in confusion, completely unaware of what was happening to her own body. The strange sensation was spreading from her groin to the rest of her body and everything felt like it was on fire. When Kaeden's thumb stroked the little bundle of nerves over her opening, Ahsoka gasped and held her breath, unsure of how this was going to end._

_"Breathe, sweetheart. Let go. I'm right here to catch you," Kaeden said reaching her free hand to hold one of Ahsoka's as she felt Ahsoka's muscles contract around her. Ahsoka looked lost as she let out a loud groan when waves of pleasure washed over her, her body shaking violently. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were shut tight. Kaeden kept thrusting her fingers lazily against her after she slumped against Kaeden's body._

_"Are you okay?" Kaeden asked kissing her neck._

_"Wow!" She said tiredly. "I didn't think it was going to feel like that." Kaeden laughed as she started to withdraw her hand from inside Ahsoka, but was stopped before she could. "No. Stay inside. Please. I like feeling you inside." Kaeden smiled and leaned closer to Ahsoka brushing her lips with her own._

_"I'm going to have to get out at some point."_

_"I know. I just want this to last a little longer."_

_"You are aware that we can do this as many times as we want, right?" She whispered into Ahsoka's ear. Ahsoka smiled._

_"Can I reciprocate?" Ahsoka asked._

_"Whenever you want," Kaeden replied. Ahsoka smiled then lowered her head in embarrassment. "What's wrong?"_

_"Kaeden, I have no idea how to please you. I barely understand what happened to me."_

_"My love, don't worry about it. You're a great student. I'm sure you'll learn this in no time."_

_"Will you teach me how to love you?"_

_Kaeden shivered. She was already far too worked up to need any foreplay so now was a good time to get Ahsoka right on the action._

_Ahsoka's hands then traveled to Kaeden's sides and down her taut abdomen. Kaeden was far too impatient at that moment. She grabbed Ahsoka's right hand and guided it down to her center. Ahsoka stroked the little bundle of nerves just above her opening through the fabric of her panties, causing Kaeden's hips to jerk. Kaeden covered Ahsoka's hand and took it inside her panties, then pushed two of her fingers inwards._

_Ahsoka was surprised to find hair down there and made a mental note to ask Kaeden about that. She was curious and wanted to see it, but maybe now wasn't the time for a biology lesson on human anatomy._

_"Feels warm," Ahsoka whispered with a smile. She felt around a little, exploring the new sensation. Slowly she started to move her fingers back and forth causing what seemed to be a pleasurable friction for Kaeden. "Is this okay?" Ahsoka asked concerned she wasn't doing it properly._

_"Oh, yes," she sighed. "Ahsoka, I need you… to go deeper," she asked between ragged breaths rocking her hips. Ahsoka got the message. Not only did she go deeper, she also picked up the speed, much like Kaeden had done, and lifted herself off the bed to take one pebbled nipple in her mouth. She felt Kaeden's muscles start to clench around her fingers indicating she must be close. Instinctively, Ahsoka's fingers curled inside Kaeden. Kaeden pulled Ahsoka closer to her needing to feel their bodies pressed together. Soon, she exploded and Ahsoka felt Kaeden convulsing. Ahsoka peppered her chest with kisses while gently stroking her, feeling her walls clamp delicately._

_"Was that okay?" Ahsoka asked unsure after Kaeden had calmed down and both rolled to their sides._

_"That was amazing. For someone with no experience, you did incredible." Kaeden said nuzzling Ahsoka's nose and both reveled in their new found intimacy. Neither could tell when sleep finally claimed them. ___


	9. Chapter 9

Ahsoka frowned as soon as she got out of hyperspace. She was sure she had put in the coordinates to Alderaan, but there was nothing there except what seemed to be an asteroid field. She double checked her navicomputer but it said Alderaan. She looked around and identified the nearby moons. But no Alderaan. She decided to reroute her ship to one of the moons she knew had settlements.

Ahsoka didn't know what she would encounter, so she made sure she landed away from any villages. Once her ship was hidden to her satisfaction, she transformed herself into a wolf and ran towards a small settlement.

Once there, she transformed back into her Togruta form. The small village, if one could even call it that, was heavily guarded by Stormtroopers.

" _Why is the Empire so interested in this place?_ " Ahsoka thought.

Ahsoka walked through the small streets, avoiding any large crowds or security, and made her way to what seemed to be the only cantina in town. There were no bounty hunters, pirates, smugglers or gangsters in this cantina. With all the security, anyone who wanted to remain out of trouble would avoid this place. If there were this many Stormtroopers here, there must be someone from the Rebellion posted here, she figured. They would be keeping an eye on this operation. And a cantina was always the best place to find information. She needed to get in touch with Senator Organa.

"Hey, you," a Stormtrooper said. "Who are you? I haven't seen you around here. Show some identification."

"You don't wanna see my identification," Ahsoka said.

"I don't wanna see your identification," the man repeated.

"You will leave the cantina now," she said.

"You will leave the cantina now," he repeated.

"Okay, sir. Whatever you say."

She walked out and looked around. There were far too many imperials walking about. Something was extremely off.

She decided to return to her ship and come back tomorrow. When she was about to leave, she heard another filtered voice.

"Halt!" Through the corner of her eye, she saw an entire fleet of men. She wouldn't be able to control all of their minds. She continued walking, pretending she hadn't heard him, but knew that wouldn't work. "Hey, are you deaf? I said halt!" When she continued on, the man yelled "get her!"

Ahsoka ran, surveying the area as she passed the small houses to see which paths she could take. A group of imperials chased her through the narrow streets. She turned around and Force pushed most of them backwards, sending the ones behind them flying in a domino effect. She continued to run, but soldiers from the other side came in her direction, shooting at her. She stopped and got her lightsabers to protect herself from both sides.

One of the streets had less men than the other, so that's where she'd have to go. She ran towards them, jumped and came down with a scream and her sabers towards them. She struck a fair few of them while also protecting herself. Once there were very few men left, she did a triple summersault and turned around for a second only to protect herself from blasts, then continued running.

Three Stormtroopers waited for her, standing in position to shoot but she ran towards them and, when she was close enough, jumped, landed one foot on the wall for impulse and decapitated all three at once. She landed just behind them and continued running.

She stopped when she saw an AT-AT walking towards her and closed her eyes. She assumed her meditation pose, took a seat and meditated. She saw the inside of the walker and the two men piloting it inside. She focused on the pilot and said "you will shoot the other troopers."

Suddenly, the walker's cannons aimed at the troop that came running into view and started shooting. Some Stormtroopers ran away from the shots while others ran after Ahsoka. She got up and resumed her running.

Once she was at a safe enough distance, she waited until the men who were running after her were standing just below the walker. She focused and raised her hands towards the AT-AT. She slowly closed her fists and the walker was starting to catch on fire. She slowly brought her hands down and the machine started to bend and fall. It fell on top of most of the men who were after her and she ran once more.

She took a turn in another small street and noticed a man on a roof, looking at her and motioning for her to come up. She looked behind her and didn't see anyone coming. Just as a precaution, she turned on the next corner and jumped up into a roof and made her way towards the man. She panted once she came to stop, but stood menacingly.

"Just stay up here and wait for them to leave," the man whispered.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked cautiously.

"I'm no friend of the Empire," he replied.

Both waited there for about an hour, until the streets started to calm down a little.

"So," the man said, "what did you do to piss of the Empire?"

"Let's just say the Empire doesn't like my kind."

"Are you hungry?" He asked and Ahsoka was grateful he dropped the previous subject.

"No, thank you," she lied. She wasn't about to take food from a stranger, no matter how non-threatening he seemed.

"You're a good fighter," he said. "You should think about using that more often."

"How do you know I don't use it already?"

"Because I would have heard about you," the man said simply.

"And how would you have heard about me?" Even though they were alone, the man looked around to make sure nobody would hear him.

"I work for the Rebellion," he said and Ahsoka's eyes looked hopeful.

"Do you know where Senator Bail Organa is?" She asked and wondered why he looked so confused.

"Senator Bail Organa?"

She grew suspicious. How could he not know who Senator Organa was? If he claimed to be part of the Rebellion, he would certainly know who Bail Organa was.

"Senator Organa is dead." Ahsoka gasped in shock and failed to notice his confusion. "You didn't know…?"

"No. How did he died?" She asked.

"He was on Alderaan," he said as if that explained everything.

"What happened on Alderaan? Where _is_ Alderaan?" She asked.

"Lady, where did you come from?" He asked. "Alderaan was destroyed. Turned into ashes. Poof."

"The entire planet?!"

"Yes. The Empire built a super weapon called the Death Star. It was a planet killer. Alderaan was their first and thankfully last target."

Ahsoka felt all blood drain from her body and felt herself go limp. If she wasn't already sitting, she would have surely fallen down. She couldn't help the tears that streamed down her face. An entire planet, gone. But all she could think about was Kaeden. She cried desolately as the man looked at her in awkward silence.

"Listen, you're obviously shaken up about this, but it would be wise if we left this place soon."

Ahsoka nodded and recomposed herself.

"Would you agree to meet someone?"

"From the Alliance?" The man nodded. "Who's in charge now?"

"You could speak to Mon Mothma. Or, in your case, maybe it would be best to speak to Luke Skywalker." Ahsoka's eyes widened.


	10. Chapter 10

"Who?" Ahsoka asked to make sure he had heard him correctly.

"Luke Skywalker. He's a Jedi."

"A Jedi? Where did he come from?" Ahsoka asked.

"I don't know. He joined the Rebellion about three or four years ago and--"

"Three or four years?!" Ahsoka interrupted him. She suddenly realized how long she had been gone. The weight of her guilt crushed her. She was gone for at least three or four years. Kaeden was left wondering where she was until she died. She thought she was being selfless, that she was going to help save Anakin. Instead of staying to help, she left Kaeden on her own, wondering where Ahsoka was.

"What happened to you?" The man asked.

"I was stuck on a planet for a long time. I don't know how long exactly."

Ahsoka wasn't ready to give out too much information about herself to a stranger. She needed to talk to someone she trusted. She wondered how much the Rebellion had changed in the last four or plus years. Probably a lot if they managed to destroy a battle station and had a known Jedi on their side. That Jedi… Luke Skywalker. She needed to know what his relationship to Anakin was. Did he have a brother? Or maybe a nephew? Because Anakin never had any kids— Suddenly she remembered. Padme was pregnant when she died. By the looks of it, she was pretty far along. The baby could have made it. Was this Anakin's son?

"Where did he come from?" She asked.

"He's from Tatooine if I remember correctly. He is there now in fact, with the Princess. They're trying to rescue a pilot from Jabba the Hutt."

Was that the young boy from her visions? She assumed it was Anakin, but maybe that was his son instead. The visions were telling her he may be the key to saving Anakin.

"Can you take me to Luke Skywalker?" She asked.

"Sure. We just have to figure out how to get out of here undetected."

"They don't know who you are, do they?" He shook his head. "Then go ahead. Just tell me where to meet you and I'll be there."

The man informed her where his ship was docked and left. Ahsoka turned into a bird and flew away. She met the man at the appointed location and they left.

Once they arrived at the Rebellion's center of operations, the man took her straight to Mon Mothma.

"Ahsoka!" Mon Mothma said in surprise. "I didn't know you were alive."

"I know. I was stuck on a planet for a long time. Long story. It doesn't matter right now. Tell me, is the son of Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi, a part of the Rebellion?"

"He is," she confirmed.

"I must speak to him. It's very important."

"I'm afraid he's away on a mission," Mon Mothma explained. "But I'll make sure he comes straight to you when he returns."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. There was something else I needed to ask…" She trailed off.

"Yes?"

"So many people died. I just learned what happened to Alderaan. I don't recognize anyone around me. I've lost so much." The deep emotion in her voice did not go unnoticed.

"But not everything," Mon Mothma said. Ahsoka eyed her curiously. "There's a soldier still with us who I think you'll recognize. I'll send for him." Before she left, Mon Mothma turned her head and asked "are you coming back to the Rebellion?"

"I never left," Ahsoka replied.

Ahsoka waited nervously, fingers twitching in her hands. A part of her hoped it would be Kaeden, that she somehow made it off the planet when it was destroyed, and had become a soldier. She knew how ridiculous that theory sounded and it was futile to hope for something like that. She decided to calm herself and meditate.

She thought about everyone who had been important to her. She didn't remember much about her village, but there were good feelings about it. She does have vague memories of the day Master Plo came to bring her to the Jedi Temple. She remembered her lessons. She remembered training, looking for crystals for her sabers, she remembered her classmates and peers. The peaceful feeling of coexistence at the Temple. She remembered the day she got her menses for the first time and how embarrassed she was when asking Shaak-Ti for help, thinking there was something wrong with her. She remembered when she became a Padawan. She remembered meeting Anakin for the first time. And Master Obi-Wan. She remembered Master Luminara and Barriss. She barely felt any ill feelings towards Barriss anymore. She even remembered Ventress. She thought of Master Yoda and then heard his voice. She opened her eyes.

"Master?" She questioned.

"Yes," he answered weekly. "Week I am. Die soon I will."

"Soon? Master, you're still alive? How can that be? Where are you?"

"Don't worry, Ahsoka. Where I'm supposed to be I am. In motion everything is. The boy. Obi-Wan trained him."

"Obi-Wan? Is he alive as well?"

"Died he has. Killed by Darth Vader."

"Anakin…" Ahsoka lamented.

"Gone Anakin is. But hope there is. A plan Obi-Wan and I set. Help the boy will. The last Jedi he is. Vader he must confront. Ahsoka…" he coughed. "If he survives, help him you must. A Jedi he is. But not trained in the old ways he has been. Help him you must." He coughed again.

"I will help in any way I can, Master. Shouldn't I come to him?"

"No. Here he will come. Foreseen it I have. Away from him you must stay until he confronts Vader."

"Okay, Master," she lowered her head. "It's good to see you, Master." He smiled weakly and vanished.

Long moments passed and Ahsoka's reeling mind was interrupted by a knock on the door. Ahsoka sat up straight and cleared her throat.

"Come in," she said. The door swooshed open and she saw a man with grey beard and no hair. "Rex!" She exclaimed and ran to hug him.

"Commander, I'm glad to have you back," he said cordially, but hugged her back just as tightly. He felt her crying against his shoulder and hugged her for a while longer.

"I'm so happy to see a familiar face around here," Ahsoka said. "So many losses…"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Rex said, then realized something. "Commander, I don't know if you know this, but… Kaeden Larte is alive."

Ahsoka felt her heart swell two sizes bigger and her head spin. It was too much information for such a short period of time.

"She… She what?"

"After you disappeared, she didn't want to stay on Alderaan anymore. She asked to be transferred to where her sister was stationed. She was trained in weapons manufacturing and is now working at one of our factories."

"Where is she?! I need to see her!"

"Ahsoka," he said using her actual name, which worried her. "You have been missing for five years. She waited for you for a year. It was very difficult. Then she accepted you wouldn't be coming back. She mourned you. And then she moved on. She's with someone else."

The hits just kept on coming. Ahsoka felt herself go limp and fell back onto the chair. She and Kaeden had been together for fifteen years. That was most of her adult life. Almost as long as she had been a Jedi. It was ironic how she had lost her world when she left the Order and then again when she decided to stay on Malachor. The heavy burden of the guilt she already carried doubled at that moment. The pain and suffering she put Kaeden through. And this new development… She couldn't imagine Kaeden with anyone else. Wouldn't imagine. It was far too painful. And it was her own fault.

Rex was at her side. "Do you still wish me to contact her?"

"Is she happy?" Ahsoka asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen her in a few years."

"I don't want her to go through any more pain than what I already caused her."

"Wolffe always said that the only thing you can't fix is death. For everything else, we can find a way." Ahsoka nodded. Her heart had been shattered. She didn't know what she was going to do. She was glad Kaeden had survived and was living what could be a happy life. She deserved nothing less.

"Come on," Rex said. "I'll show you around and then fill you up on what you've missed."

Rex spent the afternoon telling Ahsoka everything that had transpired between Malachor and now, focusing a lot on Senator Organa's daughter and the Jedi Luke Skywalker. Ahsoka was curious about him, but she was also distracted. She needed to let go of Kaeden so both of them could be happy.

Ahsoka wanted to confide in Rex about Masters Obi-Wan and Yoda, but thought maybe it was best if she waited until after Luke faced Vader, as Master Yoda instructed. She wondered if Rex knew of their fate. She wondered who else knew. She wondered if there were other survivors out there. She made a mental note to go looking for them once she was fully back into the Rebellion. Now she needed to reacquaint herself with everything and everyone. She was no longer in Intelligence. She wasn't anywhere actually. She would have to find her place in this new Alliance. " _All in due time_ ," she thought.

Once she was settled in her new quarters, Ahsoka lied down for a nap. Her first in a bed in five years. If she had anything to be grateful for right now, that would be it.

Rex left Ahsoka in her room and knew she would be asleep in no time. He imagined she would be tired. He looked at her closed door, sighed and went after Gregor.

"Gregor," Rex said once he found his brother. "I need you to do me a favor. I need you to contact Kaeden Larte for me."


	11. Chapter 11

A planet came into view as Rex left hyperspace. He had asked permission to leave for a couple of days on a personal trip. Rex was on his way to Quadler, a small planet where the Rebellion had installed an underground weapons factory. The planet where Kaeden Larte lived. He had contacted her requesting a visit. She was only slightly confused. After he joined the Rebellion, he became friendly with Ahsoka's then wife. They didn't see each other often, but he cared for her and she for him. He had only seen her twice since she got together with Naya. It hurt him to see Ahsoka's place occupied by someone else, but he had wanted Kaeden to move on. Now he didn't know what he was going to do, but she needed to know Ahsoka was alive. He didn't want Kaeden's new life to fall apart, but she needed all the facts and make a choice. He had witnessed Kaeden and Ahsoka together. Love like that didn't come around often. And it felt like there wasn't much room for beauty in the galaxy anymore. Whatever little was left needed to be nourished.

After informing his number and being allowed entry, Rex was able to land his ship on the assigned docking bay. He was greeted by some people he had only briefly met in the past and immediately asked for directions to the weapons factory.

Once he got there, he asked a droid to inform Kaeden Larte he was there to see her. He only had to wait for a couple of minutes until she came out of a room with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Rex! It's good to see you!" She said excitedly.

"Hello," he said cordially. "It's good to see you as well."

"What are you doing here? I haven't heard from you in a long time."

"Can we go somewhere more private?" He asked and she felt herself worry.

"Sure, there's a break room just around the hallway," she said.

Kaeden led them towards the room and Rex pulled up a chair for her to sit, then sat on the other one.

"Kaeden, I have something important to tell you. It won't be easy for you to hear this, but I thought you should."

Kaeden grew apprehensive.

"Two days ago we found out Ahsoka is alive," he said and watched as all color drained from her face.

"She… She's… Ahsoka is alive?" Kaeden asked, voice filled with emotion.

"She was stuck on a planet for the past five years. She didn't really understand how long it had been since she was last seen and she came back looking for you. I explained you were with someone else. She didn't want you to know she was alive once she learned about how much you suffered to get over her. She wanted you to be happy and she thought by letting you know she was back, you would be filled with torment. But I thought you should know. She doesn't know I'm here. I'm fairly sure she's going to be cross with me when she finds out. The only reason I'm telling you this is because you suffered so much when you thought she was dead. You deserved to know she's okay."

Kaeden couldn't say anything. She was staring at him with her mouth open and tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"She's okay?" Kaeden asked with some bitterness in her voice. "How is she okay? Why didn't she get in touch sooner?"

"From what I understand, she couldn't get—"

"Couldn't get what? In contact? She was completely isolated from the rest of the galaxy? Does she realize how painful this whole thing has been? No. She can't just magically come back into my life. I've moved on. I'm with someone else now. This isn't happening. I wish you never came here. Go away," Kaeden cried then stormed off.

Rex didn't take it personally. He knew this was going to be complicated. He sighed and left. He didn't know Kaeden personally that well, but he knew some of her temper from stories Ahsoka shared. He knew she was explosive, but then regretted her words. He decided to stick around Quadler for another day just in case.

Sure enough, on the following day, there was a knock on his door.

"Did she really have no way of contacting anyone?" Kaeden asked without even saying hello.

"Want to come in?" He asked, stepping aside. Kaeden walked into his room and paced a little.

"How did she not know this much time had passed? She must have known at least some time passed."

"I didn't speak to her in depth about what she went through, but something bad happened. You can tell. But also… something about her is different. Something changed. She also seems at peace. I can't give you the best answers. You should go see her." Kaeden nodded.

"When are you going back?"

"Tomorrow. I could take you with me if you'd like."

"I have to talk to Naya. I can't just abandon her, you know?" Kaeden said more to her own benefit than Rex's. "I've only been dating her for a little while, but this isn't nothing. Her feelings matter in this."

"So do yours," Rex said.

"I'll go talk to her. What time are you leaving?"

"Just after breakfast."

"Okay. If I'm not here, then you'll know my answer." Rex nodded and Kaeden started to leave.

"Kaden," Rex called and she turned around. "Her world collapsed when she learned you had someone else. But she wants you to be happy. No matter what you choose." Kaeden nodded and left.

The following day, Rex was getting everything ready to get back to base. He was so certain Kaeden would come he packed extra food for the trip. He wondered what would come out of a meeting between Kaeden and Ahsoka now, all these years later. Ahsoka was like a sister to him, so he hoped everything worked out between them. He noticed Kaeden was running late and decided to contact Gregor and Wolffe to pass the time. They filled him in on what was going on around the base. He was happy to hear Solo had been rescued and everyone was back, but found it odd that Skywalker hadn't returned with them. Rex waited for a long time, but Kaeden never showed up. He was disappointed. He was sure she would come.

After another hour or so, he decided to take off and head to Sullust. Once there, he went to check in on Ahsoka. He decided not to tell her he had gone to see Kaeden. If Kaeden wasn't going to contact Ahsoka, there was no reason Ahsoka should know that.

"Commander," Rex asked before coming into her open quarters.

"Hey, Rex. Haven't seen you around."

"I went to one of our factories." Ahsoka seemed to accept that so he quickly changed the subject. "How are you settling in?"

"Just fine," she replied. But things are moving far too quickly here. The Rebellion is planning to attack the Death Star. There is a huge operation happening. Luke Skywalker just returned and is joining the team. I'm not going with them. I think I can be more useful on another operation to attack Coruscant. But I need to speak to Luke first. Rex…"

"Yes?"

"Is Luke his son?"

"Honestly, Commander, I haven't asked."

"Really? You're not in the least bit curious?" She asked.

"Of course I'm curious. But I'm a soldier. My role is to obey orders. Not question my superiors."

"Rex… You're really strange sometimes," Ahsoka said and Rex chuckled. "Alright, I need to find this Luke Skywalker before he leaves. Talk to you later," she said and left.

Ahsoka walked into the room just after a meeting had ended and nodded to Mon Mothma, who acknowledged her presence and walked towards Luke. She saw the leader whisper something to the boy and point at Ahsoka with her head. Luke looked at her and walked towards her.

"Hi, I'm Luke. Mon Mothma said you wanted to speak with me?" Ahsoka almost gasped. Something about the boy felt extremely familiar, extremely like Anakin somehow.

"Hello, Luke," she said. "May we speak in private for a moment?" They waited for the room to clear out until they were left alone. "My name is Ahsoka Tano. I used to work for Senator Bail Organa a long time ago. I was lost for some time, but I finally managed to find my way back to the Rebellion. I used to be in Intel. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you because you're a Jedi." Luke's interest peaked. "When I was a young girl, I was taken to the Jedi Temple to train to become a Jedi, like you."

"You trained to be a Jedi?!"

"Yes. I became a Padawan learner when I was 14. I was pretty good at it," she smiled. "Master Yoda assigned me. I was supposed to join a Master to supervise my training during the Clone Wars."

Luke was completely fascinated.

"I fought alongside many great Jedi and clones. Rex is actually a friend of mine from back then. I fought a lot alongside a Master you know. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"You knew him?!"

"I did. I knew him very well. But he wasn't my Master. My Master…" she looked him straight in the eye, "was Anakin Skywalker."

Luke's face went from fascinated to shocked.

"Luke," she continued, "do you know what happened to your father?" The somber look in her face showed him she knew who he had become and he nodded.

"There is still good in him," Ahsoka said. "I know there is. Search it. You will feel it. He was a good person, Luke. He was kind, caring, funny--"

"Ben said that person is gone," Luke said.

"Who's Ben?"

"Sorry," Luke chuckled. "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Ahsoka felt both longing and love by being able to say that name as if Obi-Wan was still present. "He's not gone. He is lost in there. Find him, Luke. Find him and bring him back. I know you can do it."

"I feel it," Luke said. "Obi-Wan doesn't think it can be done."

"It can. It's not about power or knowledge of the Force. It's about his nature. We are all both good and evil. There are different reasons that drive someone to the Dark side or the Light. We are all taught to be good, so we gravitate towards the Light side. As a Jedi, you must train yourself to live only in Light. But sometimes outside factors may cloud your judgement. Padme… I considered her a friend. She was good, strong, fierce, loyal. Actually, Leia reminds me of her sometimes. Anakin had a clandestine relationship with Padme. Anakin had a hard time letting go of things. A Jedi must learn to let go. I was assigned as Anakin's Padawan so he could learn to let me go when the time came. It was… tumultuous. I was betrayed by a friend and expelled from the Jedi Order. Anakin fought hard to clear my name and he did. But by then I didn't want to come back. I now know that helped his descent to the Dark side. But what I've come to learn is that his deep love for your mother was his ultimate downfall. He foresaw her death and was desperate to prevent it. He would have done anything. Even join the Dark side if it meant he could save her. But he couldn't save her. He felt responsible. So he fell deeper into the Dark side," Ahsoka explained.

"But Luke," she said, sounding more hopeful, "I know him. I know him better than most people. He _is_ good. He _can_ be saved. Help him, Luke."

"Thank you for telling me this," Luke smiled and Ahsoka nodded.

Once Luke left, Ahsoka was alone in the empty room. She looked around and thought about how much everything had changed even thought things remained the same. The irony of life moving on. Just then she noticed a presence in the room.

"Hi," Kaeden said.

Ahsoka felt like she swallowed a brick, almost unable to reply. She finally managed to open her mouth…

"Hi…"


	12. Chapter 12

"Rex told me you came back," Kaeden said.

"Oh…"

"He said you asked him not to tell me."

They were both stiff and awkward.

"He told me five years had passed and you were with someone else," Ahsoka then softened, becoming a bit more natural. "He said you suffered so much and was now finally moving on. I felt awful for making you suffer. I just want you to be happy."

Kaeden nodded then approached her slightly.

"Ahsoka," she paused and looked at her with deep emotion. "What happened? Where were you?" Ahsoka sighed and motioned for Kaeden to sit. She then took a seat next to her.

"Ezra was led to a planet called Malachor. I accompanied him and Kenan because we learn as younglings that Malachor had reports of a Sith Temple. As you know, I was trying to find out more information about that Sith Lord, Darth Vader." Kaeden nodded. "When we got there, we found an inhospitable surface. But the soil was so thin, it broke and we fell. Below that surface we learned there were many levels going down below. We found the Sith Temple. Ezra ended up falling down even further. In the lower levels, he found Maul."

"Maul? The guy on Mandalore you told me about? The one you and Rex fought?"

"Yes. It seemed like he was stuck on Malachor for a long time. I can't tell for sure. We also had to deal with three inquisitors. We finally managed to kill the inquisitors and, with the help of Maul, Ezra unlocked the Temple. When he did, Darth Vader appeared. He was going to kill Ezra, so I came to help." She lowered her head. She felt ashamed for Anakin. She didn't want Kaeden to think ill of him for some reason. "I found out who that Sith Lord really is." She paused. "It's Anakin Skywalker."

Kaeden gasped audibly and covered her mouth with her hand.

"He was so far gone he fought me to the death. The only reason I didn't die, because he would have killed me, was that the Temple exploded. I think the explosion threw us on different directions. When I came to, everyone was gone. I figured there'd be an inquisitor ship on the surface, but I had no way of getting up there. Besides, I was too distraught to think about that anyway. I did some searching on Malachor. I meditated a lot and had a lot of visions about Anakin and his past, what happened to bring him here. It took a very long time for me to realize there is goodness in him. Buried deep down. And only one person may be able to bring him back. His son."

Kaeden looked at Ahsoka with wide eyes.

"You mean the Skywalker kid is his son?" Kaeden asked. "I just figured he was a distant relative."

"Padme was pregnant with his child when she died. I guess the baby survived. Masters Obi-Wan and Yoda survived the purge. They went into hiding and waited so they could train Luke when the time came. They are both gone now. But Luke is ready. I know he is. When I had that revelation, something changed in me. Not just mentally, physically. I feel… evolved somehow."

"Evolved?"

"Kaeden, I don't know how to explain this, but once I went into this river, I came out being able to do things I couldn't do before."

"Like what?"

"Like transform myself into creatures. I don't know, it's like the Force flows through me in a different way. Not like it was before. And it didn't feel strange at all. It didn't feel like something new. It felt like this was always a part of me and it just laid dormant. That's when I flew back to the upper levels and found the ship to get off Malachor. But during all this time, one thing kept me sane. One thing kept me focused. One thing kept me in peace. You."

Kaeden inhaled sharply.

"At first, I was so disturbed I had trouble finding my peace. Master Yoda guided me to find it. I found you. I kept coming back to you to find balance and go on searching. You were my constant. You were everything I had to survive." Kaeden was crying. "When I was finally able to fly away, I immediately set the course to Alderaan. There was no Alderaan anymore. When I learned what happened, I thought you had died. Kaeden," she took Kaeden's hands and both pretended they didn't feel the obvious electricity flowing through their hands, "I was devastated. I felt like my life had been taken from me. Like someone froze my heart. I found out you were alive only a week or so later. That was the worst week of my life. Worse than being stuck on Malachor, worse than the Jedi purge. I can't even begin to imagine how you felt. Five years… Gone. It's not fair to any of us. Especially not to you."

"I don't know what to say to this."

"You don't have to say anything," Ahsoka said calmly. "I know you're with someone else now. I take comfort in knowing you're alive and happy."

"Stop being selfless!" Kaeden cried. "Feel something. Scream. Yell. Smash things. Ahsoka, none of this is fair to anyone. To me, to you, to Naya. I shouldn't even be here. I didn't tell her I was coming to see you. I lied to her saying Rex came to make me an offer and transfer me to the base here. I don't do this. I don't lie. I'm mad. I'm mad at this situation, I'm mad at you, I'm mad at Rex. Even if it's irrational, I'm still mad. You should be too."

"I don't work like that," Ahsoka explained.

"I know. And that infuriates me. Ahsoka, you lost everything. Feel something!"

"I feel it, Kaeden. I feel it very deeply. And it hurts so much I feel like my soul is being torn apart just thinking about you with someone else. But I always learned to put others first. Especially you." Kaeden grunted in frustration. Although she knew it wasn't Ahsoka's fault, but she was angry and Ahsoka was right there, so…

"This is awful! I can't be with you anymore, Ahsoka," Kaeden said getting up and pacing.

"I wasn't expecting you to be," Ahsoka said calmly, which only fueled Kaeden's irritation.

"I have a different life. I'm a different person. You don't know anything about me anymore."

"I know your essence. And that's all that matters to me. Kaeden, I'm not asking you to be with me. I'm just asking you to please be happy."

"I can't be happy knowing you're here and I'm not with you. But that time is gone now. I can't be here. I need to leave," Kaeden said and stormed off.

Ahsoka's head was spinning. She didn't know what to think.

But first things first. There was an attack on the Imperial Palace, the former Jedi Temple. Ahsoka insisted on joining the operation. As the only person left who had actually lived inside the structure on the Rebellion, Ahsoka easily convinced the team to come along.

After everything was ready, she headed to the landing platforms.

"Alright, everyone," one of the Mon Calamari generals said, "we all know our missions. We all know what we need to do. Everyone needs to be paying attention to their orders. These attacks need to be precise. They need to be timed perfectly. Remember, stand by until you hear your orders. Everyone will be working in synch. Make sure you are ready when the time comes. Survey the area, observe the enemy, scout the territory and try to keep as many civilians away as you can. We only want the Empire, not the people. May the Force be with you."

Everyone shouted their 'alrights' and boarded their ships. Before she walked into hers, she looked around and found her oldest friend.

"Rex," she called and he went to her. "Be careful, okay?"

"You, too, Commander."

"See you soon," she said.

"May the Force be with you," he said and they both saluted with a meaningful smile then headed in different directions.

Ahsoka tried to get Kaeden out of her mind. This wasn't about Kaeden and this wasn't about her. This was about the galaxy. Her biggest struggle during her relationship with Kaeden was trying to forget it wasn't just about the two of them and that there was something bigger to fight for. That was always a sore point for Kaeden, but Ahsoka had her priorities and Kaeden finally understood that. But she always made a point to let Ahsoka know she didn't like it. Ahsoka chuckled thinking about it.

" _No,_ " she reprimanded herself. " _I can't think about Kaeden while trying to forget about Kaeden. Focus._ " Ahsoka closed her eyes to concentrate on the mission at hand.

"Ahsoka?" A man named Leir called and Ahsoka went into the cargo hold area. "You are the only one who has actually been to the palace. We have the blueprint, but you may be able to offer us something they may not be expecting."

She examined the blueprint. "This isn't the Jedi Temple," she said. "It doesn't look like any of the original structure remained. They may have torn it down and built a new building on top of it," she said then paused. "However… " Ahsoka pointed at the map. "The sewer system seems awfully familiar. It appears they kept that as it was and only rebuilt the building."

"Can we access the building through the sewer systems?" Friya, a female Twi'lek asked.

"It used to be heavily guarded, but yes, you could, "Ahsoka said.

"We'll have a group of eleven come with you," Friya said. "You can lead us and send us off in different directions and we'll each take an entry."

"I already devised a strategy to infiltrate the temple from every possible opening," a man said.

"Sorry, I don't think I caught your name," Ahsoka said.

"I'm Kallus."

"Kallus… Kallus? _The_ Agent Kallus?"

"Former Agent. Current Rebel." Ahsoka gave him a tight smile and a nod. "I've never actually been to the palace, but I had access to information while I was working as a double agent. The blueprint is one of the things I managed to get."

"We appreciate it," Ahsoka said. "It wouldn't be very wise going in in the dark. As a former Imperial, you'll know the security protocol and what's most likely to be guarded. If we come through here," Ahsoka pointed at one of the sewer tunnels then an area in the lower level, "will we have access to this room?"

"This is an artifact room," Kallus said. "It'll be heavily guarded. Your best bet is through here, here and here instead," he said indicating other entrances. You will encounter some guards, but your real problem will be the security system. We have to time this just right. There isn't one single security room. Each of these surrounding spires have a different security room. All the rooms are interconnected. If one fails, an alarm will sound and resonate throughout the entire palace. That alarm is at the central spire, on the top. Someone needs to break in and disable it. The problem is, once someone breaks into that tower, the security system is activated. Someone will need to infiltrate the palace, climb to the top of the tower and disable the alarm from inside. Then give the orders so other teams can disable the security system. Once that's done, each team has to set a bomb inside that room and leave. The rest of us will split up and run to penetrate the palace and set as many bombs as we can, then run out. Now…" Kallus said looking at everyone. "We are not going to detonate these bombs just yet. We are only going to set them. Make sure they're not at all visible. We will be setting the alarm back on once we're done and we will be leaving the palace. We all need to work together. We can't hesitate. Each one of us is a piece of the puzzle in our operation. And our operation is one piece of a larger puzzle to end the Empire once and for all. The work we're doing here is not only extremely important, it's very likely to be the most important job we'll ever do. Is everyone willing and ready?"

After a round of 'eyes', Kallus split the teams up and explained what they were going to do.

A man had studied the palace's blueprint at length and volunteered to try and go up to the alarm tower. They would have to get someone's credentials somehow so the volunteer could access the room. Or at least get through the palace's door and work from there. He would be taking a reprogrammed astromec droid to assist him.

Kallus gave twelve people jetpacks and separated them into four groups of three. Those four groups were responsible for infiltrating the towers.

They only had eight more jetpacks left, which were provided by clan Wren of Mandalore. Kallus selected eight people and handed each one a jetpack. They were supposed to get a pair and the person wearing the jetpack would have to carry their pair up to infiltrate the palace on the upper levels.

There were another eight groups of three, which would sneak into the palace from the ground. Kallus had indicated the eight small entrances to be taken. The main entrance was supposed to be taken by a large group of people who would be dressed as Stormtroopers not to raise any suspicion.

Ahsoka and her team of eleven, which included Lier and Friya, would head to the sewers.

"We will be landing shortly. Get ready, everyone."

The ship landed without any problems and the team slowly made their way out of the ship not to raise any alarm. They took out Stormtrooper after Stormtrooper not only to clear the path but also to take their uniforms. The large group fanned out and people assumed position then waited.

Hours later, already at night time, they finally got word the volunteer had disabled the alarm and the other four teams were flying into the security system spires. Another couple of hours went by and eventually the plan worked.

The teams started to take action and follow the plan.

Ahsoka led everyone through the sewers and indicated where each team should go. She had Friya and Leir come with her.

Once the eleven people from her team made it back to the main tunnel, bombs successfully planted, Ahsoka indicated the way out.

"You're not coming?" Friya asked.

"There's something I need," Ahsoka said. "Don't worry about me. You guys go." Ahsoka went back and turned around a tunnel none of the teams had taken.

She finally reached the end of the tunnel and stood by the door.

She waited.

A long time had passed. Many hours. Ahsoka was growing hungry, but meditated it out of her head.

Finally, at around mid-afternoon the following day, she heard through her com everything was ready and set. Suddenly, the ground below her shook and debris fell all around her. She knew the bombs had gone off. She immediately shoved her lightsaber through the wall and opened a hole to go in.

She saw the map of the palace in her mind and transformed herself into a wolf and ran through the fire and wreckage, making her way to the room she wanted. Once there, she had to carve another hole on the wall with her saber and found the artifact room. She grabbed everything she could and ran, knowing the structure could collapse at any minute or the fire would eventually trap her. She turned herself into a bird and flew out a window. Not an hour later, the south side of the palace collapsed. Soon after, the east side collapsed. From the sky, she could see the citizens below, creating havoc and contributing to the destruction of the palace.

Ahsoka flew to a secluded area near the ship and transformed back into her Togruta form. 

As Ahsoka walked, she wondered how Luke was fairing. She hoped against all odds he could bring Anakin back. Suddenly, she felt something. For a brief moment, she felt a shift in the Force. She could feel a familiar presence around her and was washed over by an overwhelming sense of peace. Ahsoka shed a tear. She knew everything would be okay. She walked into her ship and found her cheering colleagues.

"We did it," Kallus said. "Let's head to Endor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I suck really hard at the action bits.


	13. Chapter 13

When she landed on Endor, Ahsoka headed to the village up on the trees and immediately went looking for people she recognized. She saw Rex first and ran to him. They shared a hug and a smile.

"It finally feels like we've won a war, eh, Commander," Rex said.

"It certainly does. It's good to still have you by my side, Rex."

"You, too, Commander."

Then, Ahsoka spotted Luke and went over.

"You did it, didn't you?" Ahsoka asked. Luke smiled.

"We were right," Luke replied. "There was still good in him. He killed the Emperor to save me. But that, in turn, killed him. He was weakened by the Emperor's strikes. But he died a good person. I knew there was good in him. I felt it. And I saw him."

"You saw his face?" Ahsoka asked.

"Yes, but not just like that. Come," Luke motioned with his head, indicating she should follow him. A bit further away from the party, there stood Masters Obi-Wan, Yoda and Anakin. Just as she remembered him. She inhaled sharply and approached them.

Ahsoka looked at them with a smile. She palmed her knuckles, fingers tucked in a fist, and took a short bow. The other three did the same to her.

"Was that a Jedi bow?" Luke asked curiously.

"We have a lot to talk about," Ahsoka said. "I'm not a Jedi anymore, but if you want to be a Jedi, I was able to retrieve some things from the palace for you to study. But be very careful," Ahsoka warned, handing Luke a satchel. "These are Sith artifacts. An object isn't inherently good or bad, you make your own choices. But be very careful not to be tempted to make the wrong choices. Even if you feel like it's for the right reason…" Ahsoka trailed off when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention.

The party around her began to feel like it was in slow motion, the sounds started to blur, and everything around started to fade. All there was was Kaeden, standing there with a smile and eyes brimming with tears.

Kaeden approached her and, once face to face, took both Ahsoka's hands.

"It's always been you," she said with a smile.

Ahsoka hugged her tightly, afraid of what could happen if she let go.

"I'm so sorry," Ahsoka said taking a whiff of the fragrance she had missed so much.

"I know," Kaeden replied.

"Dance with me?" Ahsoka asked, surprising Kaeden.

Kaeden held the Togruta close, rested her cheek against Ahsoka's and placed her hands on Ahsoka's lower back. Ahsoka linked her hands around Kaeden's neck and they settled into a slow, steady rhythm, which didn't match the lively music playing around them. They didn't care. They were existing on a suspended reality at that moment and nothing around them mattered.

"This feels unreal," Kaeden whispered. "Being here with you… I never thought this would ever happen again." Kaeden looked up to meet Ahsoka's eyes. Ahsoka cupped Kaeden's face with one hand and, with a smile spread across their faces, leaned forward to kiss. It was a slow, passionate kiss that sent shivers down their spines. Tongues stroked lazily, calmly reacquainting themselves with familiar territory. Ahsoka felt Kaeden's groan reverberate through her and reluctantly parted.

Kaeden disengaged from the embrace and held Ahsoka's hand, leading her back to the hut that was assigned to her. They both ducked to enter the small hut but they were able to stand once inside.

Finally alone and in private, Kaeden all but attacked Ahsoka with a bruising kiss, hands roaming her body through the armor. Ahsoka hissed and pushed Kaeden away slightly.

"What's wrong?" Kaeden asked panting.

"I haven't had release in five years. We need to slow down if I want to have any chance at lasting," Ahsoka explained. Kaeden was about to get into a discussion about this, but Ahsoka stopped her with a tender kiss. Kaeden closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of those lips on hers once again. Ahsoka didn't even need to ask permission to enter, Kaeden was already waiting impatiently. Their tongues dueled fervently as they kissed their worries away. When they broke for air, Kaeden whimpered. Ahsoka smiled and said "I know." She nipped Kaeden's bottom lip playfully and then kissed her jaw, then her neck.

Ahsoka's hands slid down as Kaeden's travelled upwards. Gently hands and lips caressed the other in a slow, graceful dance. Each taking their time reacquainting themselves with the familiar curves, traveling so delicately afraid this moment would fade away like a dream.

Kaeden led Ahsoka to her cot and they kneeled down, facing each other. Their hands resumed the sensuous actions and Ahsoka lowered her head to capture Kaeden's left earlobe between her teeth. She kissed the skin below the ear then her neck as her hands unhurriedly raised Kaeden's top over her head. She then snaked her arms around the chocolate torso to unhook the bra and lightly graze the tip of her nails across the skin. Her hands slid down until they hit her pants and circled back to the front. Ahsoka's fingers swiftly worked on the button of Kaeden's pants while her lips captured Kaeden's. Her hands were soon lost inside the pants, cupping Kaeden's buttocks. Kaeden moaned into Ahsoka's mouth and thrust her pelvis forward. With Kaeden's help, Ahsoka removed the offending pants and panties.

Ahsoka backed up a little, taking in the naked beauty before her. She hadn't forgotten a single curve on that body. She lowered her head to capture a pebbled nipple between her lips. Kaeden's lips parted in a soft moan. How she had longed to be touched by those lips. Ahsoka kissed it a few times then sucked carefully.

"Why am I totally naked and you are fully clothed?" Kaeden asked.

"Because I work fast," Ahsoka answered lustfully.

"Let's change that." Kaeden said while removing Ahsoka's armor. She placed open mouth kisses to the orange skinned chest working her way to a covered breast. Her teeth gently trapped a covered nipple while she worked to remove Ahsoka's bra. Ahsoka, lost in ecstasy, buried her hands in the dark hair. Kaeden quickly worked to lose Ahsoka's pants and panties and soon they were both sitting on their folded legs embracing and kissing.

Kaeden sat down with her legs open but ankles linked. Ahsoka moved to straddle her and sat on the space between Kaeden's legs. The feeling of their breasts rubbing against the other's was absolutely heavenly.

Hands caressed and nails lightly grazed skin as their need started to become more urgent. Ahsoka looked at Kaeden and her hand travelled south. She teased the patch of hair just above her target, reveling on the sensation of Kaeden's hair once more. Kaeden mirrored the motion and her hand travelled down Ahsoka's stomach.

Fingers danced and massaged swollen folds, each tight swoop a silent plea to never lose what they had again. They looked at each other and pushed two fingers in at the same time establishing a graceful, melodic rhythm.

Everything about that moment felt perfect. There was plenty of time to talk afterwards, but, as they always did when Ahsoka used to return to their cottage, they reconnected by making love first.

They pushed themselves against the other's hand as their rhythm started to change from slow and sensual to needy and hungry. As they panted, they felt their climaxes start to build and picked up the speed. Kaeden knew Ahsoka inside out and she knew what Ahsoka liked. She angled her hand so her palm could rub against the bundle of nerves above Ahsoka's opening and the Togruta sucked in a breath.

"Ahsoka…" Kaeden whimpered.

"I'm close too," Ahsoka said, knowing exactly what Kaeden wanted to say. "Let yourself feel it, sweetie. Don't worry about me right now."

Kaeden left her hand still inside Ahsoka, but her strokes grew unsteady as her orgasm built. She shut her eyes tightly and felt herself go rigid as waves of pure bliss course through her. Finally, she curled against Ahsoka's chest, panting.

Quickly, she resumed the movements of her own fingers and brought Ahsoka her much needed release. Only a few thrusts later and Ahsoka quaked as she peaked and fell limp against Kaeden, letting out an uncharacteristic moan, surprising Kaeden.

Ahsoka got off Kaeden and stood on all fours. She pulled Kaeden's legs until she stretched fully on the bed, earning a giggle in the process, then straddled her.

Fingernails softly grazed against the sensitive skin of Kaeden's taut stomach, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Slowly they made their way to the full mounds, gently cupping them. Kaeden moaned slightly. Ahsoka's thumbs brushed over dark nipples, which hardened almost instantaneously.

"You're so beautiful," Ahsoka whispered.

She lowered herself and took a pebbled nipple in her mouth, allowing her tongue to sweep over the engorged tip, drawing a hiss from Kaeden. She worked her mouth downward. Ahsoka wanted to take her time teasing Kaeden further, to remember just how each patch of skin tasted, but Kaeden was clearly already ready to be taken again. Ahsoka ran her hands down the back of brown thighs and parted them further. She kissed the insides of each thigh as she positioned herself. Ahsoka inched close enough to smell the evidence of Kaeden's arousal.

"I want you to feel how much I love you," Ahsoka said. "Feel how much I want you. Feel how much I need you."

Kaeden felt Ahsoka's lip brush over her center and gasped. Ahsoka used light pressure at first, gentle teasing and kissing, careful not to push Kaeden too quickly over the edge. She worked slowly and carefully until a sob stopped her.

She looked at Kaeden who was clearly crying. Ahsoka questioned her with her eyes and Kaeden shook her head.

"It's happy tears, please don't stop." Ahsoka reached for her hand and held it, caressing Kaeden's palm with her thumb and resumed her activities.

This time, she took a more aggressive swipe and Kaeden moaned, jerking her hips upward. There was nothing Ahsoka loved more than the feeling of Kaeden approaching her release. Her brows would furrow until she climaxed and then she always had this look of someone who had discovered an amazing secret. Ahsoka was addicted to that face. She worked harder and picked up the pace of her tongue as she felt Kaeden's thighs start to clench around her face. Ahsoka then brought her free hand to rub the little node on Kaeden's womanhood to extend the pleasure and with a few tight swoops, Kaeden quivered.

Ahsoka kissed her thighs and stomach to bring Kaeden down and slowly made her way up next to her panting lover.

They only snuggled for a minute before Ahsoka looked at Kaeden with pleading eyes. Despite the years that had passed, Kaeden knew when Ahsoka needed more. Like she said, she hadn't had release in five years. There was a lot pent up inside.

Kaeden tapped Ahsoka's hips, indicating she should move. Kaeden scooted to the head of the bed, leaning against the hut's wall. She spread her legs and patted the space between that was opened between them. Ahsoka sat between them, reclining against Kaeden's chest. She felt the soft curves of her breasts on her back and the strong arms circle her torso.

Kaeden whispered in Ahsoka's ears. "This one is just for you, my love."

One hand cupped Ahsoka's breast as the other travelled down Ahsoka's stomach. She caressed her thighs with the tips of her nails and felt Ahsoka shiver. Finally, Kaeden palmed her sex and, with her other hand, took Ahsoka's chin and turned it around as much as it would to capture her lips in a kiss.

Kaeden's fingers carefully started to move and Ahsoka let out a groan. The moisture that coated her fingers indicated Ahsoka didn't need too much work. She worked her fingers around the protruding node which quickly had Ahsoka's hip bucking against her.

Kaeden was slowing her pace, ready to stop when she heard Ahsoka call her name.

"Please don't stop."

Kaeden resumed her previous pace and, just as quickly, brought Ahsoka a third release. Ahsoka laid against her chest, trying to catch her breath. Kaeden had slowed her movements but kept her fingers inside, knowing how much Ahsoka loved their connection.

Her other hand caressed Ahsoka's stomach as she felt it quiver with each sharp breath Ahsoka took.

Finally, after a few minutes enjoying the position, Ahsoka moved and both laid on their sides, facing each other, faces only inches apart. They nuzzled their noses and smiled as lazy kisses were place indiscriminately.

"I can't believe you still don't masturbate," Kaeden said suddenly and Ahsoka laughed.

"So much to talk about and that's what you choose?" Ahsoka questioned.

"It seemed important," Kaeden joked. "Ahsoka," she sobered, "we do have a lot to talk about."

"I know," Ahsoka said.

"It's not going to be as easy as just pick up from where we left off. Too much has happened between then and now."

"I know that," Ahsoka said. "But all I know is you are everything to me. I will do anything for you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Kaeden whispered against her lips and kissed her softly. "But listen, I do know that you and I are meant to be together. We will have to figure out how that's going to work in this new setting."

"I think the entire galaxy is on the same boat as we are on that," Ahsoka said with a smile.

There would be a lot of work ahead for the two of them, but they would do everything in their power to make it work.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up with random scenes between Ahsoka and Kaeden and their life in Alderaan. I'll start a new fic and add the chapters as one shots for whoever is interested.


End file.
